Nine hours ahead

Voyages

2012-02-13T15:15:00.000-08:00

Voyages (Fr.)/ Traveling (Eng.): to go, move or journey from one place to another; as if on a trip.

I have been conspicuously absent from my blog for the past couple of months. So allow me to explain where I been...

Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream...

"It was an amazing piece of music to write to, and an incredible challenge for me ... Because of the time signature, the whole deal of the song is… not grandiose, but powerful: it required some kind of epithet, or abstract lyrical setting about the whole idea of life being an adventure and being a series of illuminated moments. But everything is not what you see. It was quite a task, ’cause I couldn’t sing it. It was like the song was bigger than me. It’s true: I was petrified, it’s true. It was painful; I was virtually in tears."
-Robert Plant, interviewed by Cameron Crowe in Rolling Stone, March 13, 1975, when describing the process of writing the music/ lyrics to Kashmir

That quote seems to be the only way to sum up the past two months for me. It was spent traveling, taking care of personal business, working, spending time with people that I adore, visiting new faraway lands, staying on task, yet letting things unfold in the direction of my dreams.

It was equal parts terrifying and joyful; attaching and detaching; painstakingly hard work, yet effortlessly fabulous all at the same time.

As if that is even possible.

Portland

2012-02-11T16:15:00.000-08:00

(note: this post was never published due to my unpredictable wifi connections over the past month. But now that I am in Paris and gearing up to fill you in on what is up with my current journey, I felt it fitting to begin the catch up with this post)

Yesterday, in Portland Oregon I experienced Reiki for the first time.

I have been dealing with a lot of uncertainty due to my transition between Portland and Paris. When I moved to Paris last year, I had renters lined up for my house. This time, after tending to my stateside business, I am returning to Paris without having new renters in place. My property manager says it is a difficult time of the year to rent, but he assures me that it will eventually work out. I am continuing with my plan to go back to Paris in spite of this missing piece of the puzzle. I am holding onto faith that it will all work out for my highest good and the highest good of others.

I can't help but contemplate if I am being foolish or if this is an example of taking a leap of faith and trusting that the universe is going to work it all out. At what point to we accept our challenges as signs from the universe that we should or should not so something? Is the lack of renters a sign that I should not return to Paris, but rather stay put and play it safe?

I am not sure what I should be doing in order to properly address my uncertainty and bizarre space that I am in. But since a dear friend of mine has expanded her massage practice to include Reiki, I made sure to have an appointment on the books.

The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy". So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy."

After a very deep relaxing treatment I have affirmed by decision to continue onward on the path of faith.

Grande

2011-12-31T18:57:00.000-08:00

Grande (Fr.)/ Big (Eng.) noun: Outstanding for a specified quality, important, or major concern, large as in size, height, width or amount.

"You have to dream big in order to get big."
- Dee Vo

Here's to a big 2012!

Cheers!

Inconnu

2011-12-06T02:59:00.000-08:00

Inconnu (Fr.)/ Unknown (Eng.) noun: not known, understood or recognized; strange, new, undiscovered, untravelled, unmapped, undetermined, undisclosed, unspecified, unfamiliar; secret, not revealed; not established or verified.

"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little."
- Agnes de Mille, American dancer, choreographer, publisher

Perfectionnisme

2011-12-04T06:17:00.000-08:00

Perfectionnisme (Fr.)/Perfectionism (Eng): a propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.

And as far as my creative endeavors are concerned, I suffer from this.

I don't feel finished with my NaNoWriMo piece although the deadline was four days ago and I hit submit. I feel that it really needs a final chapter, a conclusion. What happened to the woman who found love in Paris? Where is she now? What did it all represent in the grand scheme of things? The ending could be 1-2 pages as far as I am concerned, so the length is not what has been keeping me from the sensation of having crossed the finish line-- perfectionism is.

I have simultaneously been participating in the 12-week Artists' Way program and find it auspicious timing that this week's chapter is all about Perfectionism.

Here is an except from the Artist's Way chapter on Perfectionism, by Julia Cameron:

"Tillie Olsen correctly calls it the knife of the perfectionist attitude in art. You may call it something else. Getting it right, you may call it, or fixing it before I go any further. You may call it having standards. What you should be calling it is perfectionism."

"Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right. It has nothing to do with fixing things. It has nothing to do with standards. Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop-- an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole."

"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough-- that we should try again."

"No we should not."

"A book is never finished. But at a certain point you stop writing and go on to the next thing. That is the normal part of creativity-- letting go. We do the best we can by the light we have to see by."

With that said, I will let the ending be exactly where it is was of the official NaNoWriMo deadline, let go, and find comfort that its unfinished-ness could be the beginning in disguise-- perhaps for a sequel.

Les Essentiels: Novembre

2011-11-25T04:34:00.000-08:00

1. Being able to talk to my Mom whenever I need/want The fact that she is only a phone call away is something that I am grateful for on a daily basis.

2. Rodin Face Oil. Now that the weather has changed, it keeps me hydrated.

3. Moleskin notebooks: for work, school, journaling, and just keeping track of all my inspirations. I have four active books in rotation at all times. And a tall stack of filled books.

4. Invitations to Hawaii, Noyers-sur-Serein, and Vienna presenting themselves when I least expect it.

5. NaNoWriMo for that kick in the ass to complete something that is very important to me.

6. Botot toothpaste makes brushing my teeth an event that I look forward to.

7. Weekly artist dates with myself per The Artist's Way program. The morning pages that are also part of the program are pretty incredible as well, for example this morning writing three pages filled with gratitude was a pretty fantastic way to start the day.

Love this pice of art at the Pompidou

8. Fall runs through Paris. Looking down is now just as amazing as looking up and around.

9. Lobster sandwich picnics at Spring, with a couple who gives me evidence that it exists by showing me what real love looks like after many years.

10. Making stateside plans to see my entire family and all my incredible friends during my upcoming visit, and knowing that I will return to Paris, where beautiful things like this happen in places where you least expect them:

Le magnétisme

2011-11-17T15:28:00.000-08:00

Photo by Garance Dore

"'Tis curious that we only believe as deep as we live. We do not think heroes can exert any more awful power than that surface-play which amuses us. A deep man believes in miracles, waits for them, believes in magic, believes that the orator will decompose his adversary; believes that the evil eye can wither, that the heart's blessing can heal; that love can exalt talent; can overcome all odds. From a great heart secret magnetisms flow incessantly to draw great events."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (excerpt from Beauty)

Deux fois

2011-11-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

Deux fois (Fr.)/ Twice (Eng.) adverb: two times; in two cases; on two occasions.

This is Day Ten of the month long NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) Challenge. Or as I like to call it, The Month That I Slept a Total of 30 Hours and Drank as Many Bottles of Wine.

I am proud to say that I have stuck with it so far (there's still time to jump ship) despite my better (saner) judgement. Everyday the goal is to write approx. 1,700 words in order to reach the 50,000 word goal at the end of the month. I am at 16,000 (how did that happen?) I already have a very full plate so taking on this challenge, on top of work, school, and Paris, not to mention zero skills as a writer, is probably considered a Category 5 act of insanity.

It would have been easy for me to have abandoned the mission once I realized that a novel is supposed to be fiction, and to write fiction you must first have a main character and a story to tell. I had neither. Instead I decided to retell my own story of the first time I moved to Paris in 2006. At least that gave me a no excuse way to get started. Plus it is a story that I have been encouraged to retell. So that is what I am doing.

Suffice it to say, I am both bored with and amused by my story. Retelling it has found me looking at it in a whole new light. And on Day Ten I am rethinking both the beginning and the end.

"We write to experience life twice."
- Anais Nin

L'art

2011-11-08T13:46:00.000-08:00

Turbo by Baptitse Debombourg, Galerie Patricia Dorfmann, Paris

“If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”
-Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country, 2005

La peur

2011-11-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

La peur (Fr.)/ Fear (Eng.) noun: a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.

Charlotte Rampling: The Look on Nowness.com.

Today is Day Three of a 30-day challenge to write a 50,000-word novel (National Novel Writing Month).To keep on the pace, I should write approximately 1,700 words per day. To say that I am behind that pace is an understatement. I spent Day One in a drunken state hoping that the wine would deliver me with a story idea, a brilliant character, a setting. Something. Anything. Instead it gifted me a hellacious hangover and zero words. Day Two I was too hungover to write, although I did birth a rather long (dare I say 1,700 words long?) mental list of reason why quitting was a good, no a great idea.

This morning I awoke to a fabulous bit of advice in my inbox... "Just plan to write a 50,000-word pile of hot steaming shit." Which is what I have now officially begun to do.

"Write what you know" I once heard said about the writing process. After too much coffee and a bowl of fruit, I have written 2,936 words about the first time I tried living in Paris, back in 2006. Only 47,064 steaming hot words left to excrete.

Is there a story line here? A plot? Interesting character development? I have no freaking idea.

"There's an animal excitement about confronting situations where you have no idea what the outcome will be. When you're presenting yourself in front of crowds... what can happen. There's a challenge element to the exposure which is quite, well it's almost erotic. In a sense challenging your senses to that, you're pushing yourself to go dangerously into places. But that's what fuels most interesting things. Fear."

- Charlotte Rampling, for The Nowness

Les Essentiels: Octobre

2011-10-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

The list of things that I adore about Automne in Paris is far too long for just one blog post. However, I realize that there is power in simplicity, so here is my attempt to boil it down to only ten.

1. Automne walks in Paris. The coloring of leaves is always beautiful, watching it happen in Paris is breathtaking.

2. Philosykos eau de toilette by Diptyque: fig leaves + fig tree wood + white cedar = perfect Automne scent. I seriously bathe in this.

3. The Artist's Way book/program: this 12-week program is guaranteed to clear out your pathways to allow more creativity into your life. I am currently on week four. Each week I have to take myself on an "artist date". This week's artist date was seeing silent film, The Artist. How apropos.

4. Isabel Marant oversized black blazer.

5. Julie and Aurelian's delicious restaurant by day/ charming wine bar by night. They tell me that its name is Invitez-Vous a Chez Nous (or something like that, meaning, You're Invited to Our Place). However, there is absolutely no signage signifying that there is any sort of name whatsoever. So we just call it The Red Bar. It is probably the single most inviting spot in all of Paris, so I suppose the phantom name is fitting.

6. A new haircut with light bangs.

7. Love from afar, like surprise packages of habanero hot sauce from Oregon and loving, supportive visits from Georgia.

8. A cathartic and magical evening with Bon Iver at the Grande Halle de la Villette.

9. Private dinner parties and wine degustations at Paris Terriors.

10. My writing group at Shakespeare & Co.

Automne

2011-10-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

It's no secret, I love Automne!

The way the sun sits lower in the sky.
The warm vibrant colors of the leaves.
The crisp air that begs for a cashmere wrap or blazer, yet not quite a coat.
Knowing that soon enough, I won't feel guilty for filling my weekends sitting inside a cafe or a museum (rather than chasing the sunshine all over Paris).
And searching for the perfect pair of boots as my signature statement this season.

This boot pursuit seems a lot more challenging than past years. Mostly because I am not visualizing (and by visualizing, I mean obsessing) over a very specific style/brand of boots that I may or may not ever find.

Will it be an Isabel Marant boot?

A Martin Margiela avant garde take on a classic?

A fur-lined Pierre Hardy lace-up wedge?

(Imagine these in black, lined with fur. They are so new that there aren't any images available yet.)

Or, *gasp* a Moccasin bootie? (seriously, I am thinking quite a bit about Moccasin booties lately. In my defense, I walk A LOT and comfort is key, okay!?)

It's kind of exciting to keep myself open so that the perfect boot can present itself to me, rather than hunting it down with the focus of an Olympian athlete. It is the difference between being on a mission and being on a journey. And I am starting to get used to this whole journey thing.

I know what type of "boot" it won't be. And I am pretty sure that Paris (and all of France, for that matter) offers a free vaccine for this unfortunate affliction of Elephant Feet. God bless Paris, God bless health care for all, and God bless Automne.

Illuminer

2011-10-07T03:13:00.000-07:00

Illuminer (Fr.)/ Illuminate (Eng.): to brighten with light. To make uderstandable. To clarify. To expose or reveal by radiation. To enlighten intellectually or spiritually.

Most people think that perception works a lot like a flashlight in the dark, illuminating whatever it's aimed at. However, the truth is that instead of revealing what's there, it creates it.

Recently I was questioning how someone can knowingly change their perception. I was advised that it was simple-- just change your thoughts. Um, yeah. How does someone do that exactly? Here is the exercise I was given as a two week experiment:

Put two jars side by side.
Every time you have a disempowering, bummer thought, such as "the French government is trying to kill me with bureaucracy", "I'll never speak French fluently", "I no longer have any bicep definition", etc. I am to put one euro in the first jar.
As soon as that euro clinks in that jar, I am to write an empowering thought on a piece of paper, such as "I speak French 10 times better than I did this time last year", "I have the intellect and tenacity to handle the French government", "My calves look ah-mazing!" etc. Then fold that piece of paper and drop it in the second jar.
Whenever I need a little light to shine on my here and now, I grab that second jar, pluck out the pieces of paper, and Viola! My here and now is illuminated.
At the end of the two weeks, I am to take that first jar's contents and give it to charity, whatever charity looks like to me.

Dots

2011-10-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

"You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something... your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference."
-Steve Jobs, 1955-2011
excerpt from Stanford Commencement Speech 2005 (see below)

Les Essentiels: Trey Russell

2011-09-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

(Trey at Versailles)

It's no mystery, September is my favorite month. Having grown up in the desert of Arizona, September signified the beginning of manageable weather. But more importantly it meant new outfits for the new school year. I could milk the new school clothes by combining every possible combination until the inspiration (or the clothes) wore itself out. Which usually happened just in time for Christmas... and a whole new batch of outfits and combinations.

So it delights me to no end to have had one of my oldest and dearest friends and fellow fashionista come visit me in Paris during the month of September. Trey Russell is the stylish owner and creative force behind Aris on the Coast in Laguna Beach. Over a bottle of Sancerre, I asked him to share his 10 essentiels for the month of September.

Ten things Trey Russell can't live without in September:

1. 2 cups of coffee with creme first thing in the morning.
2. Pizza. I seriously can't live without it. Any kind, but right now fig is my favorite topping thanks to Pink Flamingo Pizza in the Marais.

(Pink Flamingo pizza)

3. Swimming. The bigger the pool the better.
4. Flowers. Single arrangements, cut low. One variety, one color, tres chic.

(All white floral arrangements in the lobby at the George V, in Paris)

5. Diptyque cologne and candles. Right now I am obsessing over the Coriandre candle and the Eau de Lierre fragrance. They are both grass scents and perfect for the transition from summer nights into fall days.
6. Le cinema. Melancholia tops my list for a must see this month. Loved it!

(Melancholia by Lars Von Trier)

7. Aviator sunglasses. No brainer.
8. Eddie. (Trey's adorable pug who holds court at his boutique in Laguna Beach)

(Eddie aka Eduardo)

9. Texting. "There, I said it." I can live without Facebook, the phone, email, but I seriously can't live without texting.
10. My Porsche.

Nuages

2011-09-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

Nuages (Fr.)/ Clouds (Eng.) noun: a mass as of dust, smoke, or steam, suspended in the atmosphere.

The more I learn, experience and grow, the more I realize that I really don't know life at all. I have always thought that the purpose of life was to be happy. Yet a very wise friend of mine challenged this theory with her own, "I am convinced that the only purpose in life is to grow" she said.

I have been capturing the life lessons, inspirations, bits of wisdom, and sharing my own life's compass on this blog for a few years now. I have been spending a significant amount of time cruising through the archives and finding that the things I wrote about three years ago still apply to me now, yet in a different context. Last week, I naively thought, "I have shared all there is to share." And then very soon thereafter, I realized that life is never fully realized. Just when we think we are content and satiated, we are given the gift of a challenge or better yet, the opportunity to evaluate and enhance.

It is commonly theorized that the song Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell is about innocence and wisdom all at once. It is extremely moving to listen to her perform the song in 1970 with the outlook of innocence, and then again in 2000 with the maturity that comes from living life through all of its joys and pains.

Here is the original:

And again thirty years later:

I used to think that life was full of possibilities and that I could have and experience anything that I wanted to have or experience. And now? My older self and my younger self are realizing that this outlook still applies to me, albeit somewhat cloudier as I evaluate and redefine what it is that I want.

Le Divorce

2011-09-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

(Jack White and Karen Elson, photo by Gareth Cattermole, Getty)

Creativity is defined as a new way of doing something. Based on this definition, I am finding that I am a lot more "creative" than I ever gave myself credit for.

I can draw. And I used to apply this talent in grade school through a variety of sketching projects. As an adult I scaled it back to blind contour portraits of friends and family. Creative? Well, perhaps.

I can style and edit. If you need to put together a complete look for an event, then I am your gal. Want some help editing your magazine, then call me. Creative? Um, okay.

But what about finding a new way to view something that is causing you upset, grief, struggle and discomfort. I can definitely offer some alternate ways to view the event from a perspective that it is actually the greatest thing that could possibly have occurred to you on the grounds of your own growth and ultimate happiness. The trouble is that when someone is experiencing their unfortunate situation, they may not be ready to check things out from a positive vantage point-- yet. In which case, offering them some alternate perspectives is really all I can do... well that and my total support while they process things.

Divorce and break ups are one of those things that seem to cause the most upset, and marinading in negative outlook. And while there are a myriad of alternate viewpoints on this unfortunate situation, here is one that I find very empowering and inspiring. Click here to read about the divorce party that Jack White and Karen Elson hosted earlier this summer.

Now, don't you dare go and label me as pro-divorce. Although I am not exactly sure how I feel about the institution of marriage, I am pretty solid with the concept of being one's word. Regardless, I do admire how Jack Black and Karen Elson chose to view and manage their own unfortunate divorce. Very creative, if you ask me.

Etre Coincé

2011-09-10T04:22:00.000-07:00

(Monsieur Dries Van Noten)

être coincé (Fr.) Be stuck (Eng.): verb; to be wedged in and unable to move further.

Ever find yourself stuck? Unable to find your inner voice in order to resolve an issue, define next steps, or manifest a lifelong dream?

Here's a quick and easy go-to for me when I find myself in this space...

I find that it helps to list out some people who inspire me. They can be role models, heros, or just people who I am admiring for whatever reason.

Then the next time I get stuck and am ready to let the Vampire of Despair kill my project I ask myself... “what would ___ do in this situation?” It also helps to write this down in a journal, notepad, or if you are like me, a blog. It makes it more real and therefore makes me more accountable.

I always seem to ask myself “What would Dr. Wayne Dyer say about this?” And he usually replies, "Ask Diana."

Here's my current admiration rotation:

Dries Van Noten
Madonna
Dr. Wayne Dyer
Diana Vreeland
Oprah
Scott Schuman
Amanda F. Palmer

Who's in your rotation?

Vampires

2011-09-08T03:28:00.000-07:00

Vampire (Eng.)/ Vampire (Fr.) noun: Any person, thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative expression.

Vampire is the same word in French as it is in English. I suppose this definition of vampire applies to everyone no matter what language, culture or profession. We are all plagued with vampires in our heads, although some of us have developed better slaying abilities than others. Here are a few examples of the different vampire breeds, as described in this song:

Pygmee Vampire: They swarm around your head like gnats and say things like "your teeth need whitening", "you went to state school!?" "Shakespeare and Sedaris did it before you and better than you."

Air Freshener Vampire: She might look like your mama or your old fat ass Aunt Fanny, she wants you to clean it up and not write about anything "bad", which will leave your work toothless, gutless and crotchless.

Vampire of Despair: This is the mother of all vampires. It will wake you up at 4am to say things like "Who do you think you are kidding?", "you look like a fool", "no matter how hard you try, you will never be good enough"

"Why is it if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform and said these things I would think that he was a mentally ill asshole, but if the vampire inside my head says it, it is the voice of reason?"

La Créativité

2011-09-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

(Installation by Spencer Tunick)

la créativité (Fr.)/ creativity (Eng): noun: Finding new ways of doing something, by tapping into the imagination to recognize and generate ideas to execute on.

My mom used to tell me that she didn't have "a creative bone in her body." And "I can't even draw a straight line to save my life" she would often say. I think that was because my father was a very talented artist and my mom thought creativity meant that you must have a certain skill set such as a talented illustrator, painter, writer, or musician.

What I realize now is that creativity is much more general than that. It is using your imagination to do something new regardless of whether there is a blueprint or something to model it after. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. The important thing is to go for it and provide an opportunity for change and sometimes mistakes to occur. Because change is the breeding ground for more creativity, and therefore more possibilities.

So doesn't that mean that all parents are "creative"?

Or better yet that every single one of us is "Creative"? God only knows, there is no blueprint or model for us to live our lives from... we are creating them from the moment we are born.

Attitude

2011-08-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

(Scott Schuman of www.thesartorialist.com, in Paris)

Having a good attitude is likely to pay off.

Just sayin.

But don't take my word for it...

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
- Winston Churchill

"A person who has good thoughts can never be ugly. You can have a crooked nose and a wonky mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."
- Roald Dahl

Le Sucre

2011-08-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

(heart cake by Lily Vanilli)

Dear Sugar (Eng.)/ Chers Sucre (Fr.): Dear Sugar is an advice column that appears regularly (almost every Thursday afternoon EST) in the online magazine The Rumpus. Sugar’s identity is a secret, but her writing reveals her to be a woman of compassion, wit, precision and wisdom.

Although it is rare that I have gone through or am currently experiencing the same situations that her reader's write to her about, yet there is always something that connects with me on a deep, profound and heart piercing level.

The unifying theme seems to be resilience and faith.

If you have not read Sugar's column before, here is a great introduction:

Tiny Beautiful Things Column #64
Dear Sugar, I read your column religiously. I am 22. From what I can tell by your writing, you're in your early 40's. My question is short and sweet: what would you tell your 20-something self if you could talk to her now?
Love,
Seeking Wisdom
Click here to see Sugar's response.

So, what would YOU say to your 20-something self about your life in its current form?

Les Essentiels: Août

2011-08-25T14:49:00.000-07:00

Ten things that I can't live without right now:

1.New French experiences-- specifically Chinon, Loire Valley, Hôtel Agnes Sorel, Chateau de Coulaine, and dehydrated napkins.

(Hôtel Agnes Sorel)

2. Oversized Rolex watch with a black face.

3. Converse Chuck Taylors with Bon Marche's black footies.

4. Downloads from iTunes.

(McNulty, The Wire)

5. Catastrophic events that open my eyes to a fresh, vibrant, liberating ways of living. (more on this later)

6. Faux Hermes Birkin picnic bag.

(ThursdayFriday "Together" bag on the Seine at sunset)

7. Uniqlo jeans and Uniqlo's free same day (and better yet--same hour!) hemming service.

8. Crepe dinners in a rustic, over-grown garden in the backyard of someone's house.

(Dans un Jardin, Chinon, France)

9. Repettos molding perfectly to my feet.

(My favorite Repettos in the Jardin des Plantes)

10. My peeps back home who keep it real for me, encourage me to keep following my dreams, while watching my back and sorting through real world messes on my behalf.

What ten things make your August (Août) a little extra special?

Confiance

2011-08-23T03:08:00.000-07:00

Faith (Eng)/ Confiance (Fr.): noun; Confidence or trust in a person, thing, or concept. Belief that is not based on proof.

I recently read a New York Times article about a Tony award winning playwright/performer , Sarah Jones, who recently received a commission from the Lincoln Center to develop an unspecified show. She has no idea what it will be about or what she will create, yet the clock is ticking to create it. Her specialty is to scour the city streets of New York City in search of people who represent "cultural fault lines that unite and divide the city" and to pluck these characters ripe for her own inspriration.

Although I am not a playwright, a performer, nor a New Yorker, I do have a few things in common with Ms. Jones.

I have been given a commission from the universe to create the life of my dreams, and have also been gifted the backdrop of Paris.
I search the city for inspiration and find myself eavesdropping on conversations in languages that I don't totally understand, peering in apartment windows at dusk to imagine the life within it, chameleon-ing myself to whomever I am interacting with out of authenticity in the moment.
I don't know what my story will be, but I go in search of it and trust that it is unfolding exactly as it should. To be doing it in Paris at this moment gives me the peace of mind that I am in the right place for right now.

“I’m practicing a kind of meandering faith, or faithful meandering, I just trust that something is coming. I don’t know what it is. But I’ve been a straphanger all my life; I know what it’s like to not know when the next train is coming, but I trust the subway.”
- Sarah Jones, Unlicensed anthropologist, an explorer of the cultural fault lines that unite and divide the city, Tony award winning performer and playwright

Click here to read the entire NYTimes article--Sarah Jones, Scouting the City for Her Characters.

Situation

2011-08-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

Situation (Eng.)/ Situation (Fr.): noun. Condition, case, or plight.

I am in the midst of a catastrophic situation. I am doing everything I can to sort through it, keep my balance and composure, relish in gratitude for the friends and family who have quickly risen to my aid and support, trust in the humanity of large corporations, and believe that everything will eventually be okay.

But it is hard, I am not going to lie.

One of the reasons that I love Paris is because it activates my imagination and provides the perfect environment for me to dream and marinade in life's possibilities. However, when life is serving up a big fat dose of crap back in my homeland it can be hard, no matter where I am, to shift my perspective back to the space of dreams and possibilities. So today I sought out one of the only surefire ways I know to help me revisit this happier perspective. I went to Musee Bourdelle for the Madame Gres exhibition.

For the two hours that I was there, I only thought about my situation a couple of times. But more than that, for the most part I felt inspired and hopeful. That is a huge improvement from the past few days and reminded me that no matter how horrible things may seem at any given moment, there is always something else that can bring us to a happier state if we let it. Our job is to give ourselves permission to feel better and to seek out an opportunity to shift our focus (even if only momentarily).

Here are just a few of today's perspective shifting images:

Les Instructions

2011-07-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

How to live your dream life

Step One: You have to know what you want, defined in terms of the end result.

Step Two: You have to physically and mentally move towards it, without defining the hows. Smallish baby steps work well vs. tackling too large of steps that could leave you feeling overwhelmed and defeated.

Step Three: Believe that it is coming to you.

Step Four: The thing that you want actually starts coming to you, on its own terms, from a direction completely unexpected.

I am currently in Step Three. Where are you?

Marche

2011-07-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

Photo by Tommy Ton

Step (Eng.)/Marcher (Fr.) verb: The single complete movement of raising one foot and putting it down in another spot.

I am revisiting a concept that I was turned onto while in Rome a couple of months ago. The concept of "stepping out".

Rome is notorious for its insane driving. My chauffeur who picked me up from the airport gave me some very useful advice for my stay, "To cross the street, you must step out into the traffic. Otherwise, if you wait for the traffic to stop, you will be waiting for ever. I am not kidding."

I found this advice especially poignant, considering that I knew only one word in Italian-- attraversiamo, which means "to cross".

He was right. Yet stepping out into crazy traffic is easier said than done. I discovered that it was a good idea to draft off of the "stepping out" of the locals. The older Italian woman were usually the best to draft off of, the tourists on the other hand, not so much. This drafting allowed me the opportunity to recognize the best "stepping out" opportunities and to gain the confidence to do it more effortlessly and independently.

I pondered this metaphor for life throughout the duration of my trip. And I continue to revisit this concept during my return in Paris.

Distraction

2011-06-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

Photo by Garance Dore

Distraction (Fr.)/ Distraction (Eng.): Something that serves as a diversion or entertainment. An interupction, and obstacle to concentration.

Have you ever noticed that when you plant a seed in the soil and check back on it every. single. day. that it doesn't seem to grow? However, when you step away from it (aside from occasional waterings), and forget about it while you are doing other things, something magical happens?

This is perhaps the gift of distraction-- to allow magic to happen when we aren't over watering, over anxious, or trying too hard in the grips of making one particular thing happen with all of our might. I have been struggling with my creative inspiration for a writing project that I am working on. It has even seeped over to my blog (have you noticed that my posts have slowed to a snail's pace?).

I came across an interview with Eat, Pray, Love author Liz Gilbert that turned me onto the gift of distractions (*warning, this is a longer than normal post, so grab a cup of coffee, matcha, or wine and enjoy*):

"Here's what happened: After the unexpected success of Eat, Pray, Love, I diligently sat down to work on my next project—another memoir. I worked hard, as always, conducting years of research and interviews. And when I was finished, I had produced a first draft that was...awful."

"My old friend Sarah, seeing me so troubled, came to the rescue with this sage advice: "Take a break! Don't worry about following your passion for a while. Just follow your curiosity instead."

"She was not suggesting that I ditch my passion forever, of course, but rather that I temporarily ease off the pressure by exploring something new, some completely unrelated creative endeavor—something that I could find interesting, but with much lower emotional stakes. When passion feels so out of reach, Sarah explained, curiosity can be a calming diversion. If passion is a tower of flame, then curiosity is a modest spark—and we can almost always summon up a modest spark of interest about something."

"So what was my modest spark? Gardening, as it turned out. Following my friend's advice, I stepped away from my writing desk and spent six months absentmindedly digging in the dirt. I had some successes (fabulous tomatoes!); I had some failures (collapsed bean poles!). None of it really mattered, though, because gardening, after all, was just my curiosity—something to keep me modestly engaged through a difficult period. (At such moments, believe me, even modest engagement can feel like a victory.)"

"Then the miracle happened. Autumn came. I was pulling up the spent tomato vines when—quite suddenly, out of nowhere—I realized exactly how to fix my book. I washed my hands, returned to my desk, and within three months I'd completed the final version of Committed- a bool that I now love."

"Gardening, in other words, had turned me back into a writer."

"So here's my weird bit of advice: If you've lost your life's true passion (or if you're struggling desperately to find passion in the first place), don't sweat it. Back off for a while. But don't go idle, either. Just try something different, something you don't care about so much. Why not try following mere curiosity, with its humble, roundabout magic? At the very least, it will keep you pleasantly distracted while life sorts itself out. At the very most, your curiosity may surprise you. Before you even realize what's happening, it may have led you safely all the way home."

-Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and Committed*

* you can read the whole interview here.

Les Essentiels: Juin

2011-06-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Tommy Ton at jakandjil.com)

Essentiels (Fr.)/ Essentials (Eng.) (adjective): absolutely necessary; indispensible.

Ten things that I can't live without right now:

All things Google (general search, google maps, google translate,etc.)
Kiehl's lip balm
Baies and Figuer Diptyque candles (burning simultaneously)
Cartier tank watch on a black crocodile strap
SALT aviator sunglasses
Skype
Creative Inspiration: OFR Bookstore in Paris never disappoints as an ongoing source of inspiration.
Wine (specifically Amphibolite Nature vin blanc and Les Pieds Rotis bubbles from Paris Terroirs)
Avocados
Clouds in the Luxemborg Gardens

What's on your list?

Talent

2011-06-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

Photo by Terry Richardson

Talent (Eng.)/ Talent (Fr,) noun: innate ability, aptitude, or faculty, especially when unspecified; above average ability.

"Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?"

- Benjamin Franklin

Erreur

2011-05-10T15:08:00.000-07:00

Erreur (Fr.)/ Mistake (Eng.): Verb

To blunder in the choice of
To misunderstand the meaning or intention of
To identify wrongly; confuse with another

"Can you make a mistake and miss your fate? Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers... maybe you just have to say what's in your heart."
- Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

"Protect me from what I want."
- Jenny Holzer, the 15th Truism

Avril: les cinq premiers

2011-05-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

April was an especially memorable month. It marks my first trip to Rome, Italy.

Everything in Rome is saturated with history. But what really stood out to me is how large everything is. The Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon, the voice levels, the hand gestures, the hospitality, and don't get me started about the pizza and pastas. If Rome had a tagline, I am pretty sure it would be "Rome, Go Big or Go Home!" A tagline that doubles as a metaphor for life. I pondered this concept for the duration of my trip.

Here are five of my favorite memories from my time in Rome:

The Pantheon

The streets of Trastevere

Lunch at L'Angolo Divino Enoteca (a divine little wine bar near Campo Dei Fiori)

A flock of nuns near the Colosseum.

You see this type of adornment throughout Rome. Charming.

"The culture of Rome just doesn't match the culture of Yoga, not as far as I can see. In fact, I've decided that Rome and Yoga don't have anything in common at all. Except for the way they both kind of remind you of the word toga."

- Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Beaucoup

2011-04-20T05:18:00.000-07:00

Beaucoup (Fr.)/ Many (Eng.) adjective: Consisting of or amounting to a large but indefinite number.

I have always been the kind of person who likes to try a lot of things, to squeeze every last drop out of this life. God forbid there be something of interest that I have not tried exploring. Maybe that is why I read more magazines and blogs than I do full books.

A very wise person told me recently that there are two general types of passionate people in this world. The type who have a single, clear, burning mission from the moment that they are born. And the type who treat life like a candy store, sampling as many different candies as they can. And neither one is better nor has more benefits than the other. Each one provides structure for growth, which is the one sure purpose in life-- to grow. You can grow just as much from the pursuit of one clear mission as you can from many. And one mission can turn into many and many pursuits can turn into one.

Soixante

2011-04-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

Photo by Chuck Close, courtesy of The Pace Gallery, featured in Harper's Bazaar

I recently began working with a life coach to help me gain clarity around my dreams and goals. I don't seem to have a hard time determining how to accomplish them, but determining what they are could use some added support right now. Having recently accomplished my dream of living in Paris, it seemed wise to keep this momentum going and to go "bigger". (Bigger than Paris? yes, please.)

I was encouraged to explore a visioning exercise with these seemingly simple instructions:

Fast forward to your 60th birthday party.

Visualize: Where are you? How are you celebrating? Are you alone or with others? What are you doing? Who is there? What are you wearing? How do you feel? What is your lifestyle like? What does your body look like? What does your face look like?

Luckily for me, I had just read an article in Haper's Bazaar featuring a photo portrait of Diane Von Furstenberg by Chuck Close and an interview between them both. It gave me fabulous context for embracing this exercise.

"...At 64 [Diane Von Furstenberg] has never had any plastic surgery, has no plans to, and if anything takes pride in her lines. "I’ve always liked wrinkles,” she says. “When I was a young girl, I used to make lines on my face with my nails because I loved Jeanne Moreau. I always wanted to be older; I always added years to my life. For the longest time, if people thought I was older I would take it as a compliment.”
- Diane Von Furstenberg quote taken from DVF Portrait, Harper's Bazaar

Click here to read to full article.

Mars: Les cinqs premiers

2011-04-04T11:28:00.001-07:00

Mars is a big month for me, not only because it signals the beginning of spring, flowers and wamer sunnier days ahead, but also because it is my birthday month. And all of those reasons give me PLENTY to be grateful about.

1. Finding a new love-- in the opposite direction.
Up to this point, I have been in a monogamous relationship with the Jardin de Luxemborg. But in an attempt to avoid wearing running gear in such a crowded springtime destination, I ran in the opposite direction. Straight into the arms of a new love, the Jardin de Plantes de Paris. And lo and behold, as it is so aptly named, there were cherry trees in blossom, tulips, poppies, an art deco wintergraden, trees being supported by large structures, and um, monkeys! Who would have thunk it? Right in the middle of this large jardin is a melangerie of animals. C'est magnifique! In keeping with the springtime theme there are new beginnings and discoveries happening within a couple of blocks of my home. (What else have I yet to discover?)

2. Stepping outside of my comfort zone.

I know I go on and on about my favorite Diptyque scented candle, Baies. But in honor of the fresh start of spring and a new year for yours truly, I figured it was time to step outside of my comfort zone and try something new. Enter, Figuier candles. And I didn't stop there, I picked up a couple of new eau de toilette scents to try out, for good measure.

3. Things just showing up.

I have tried just about everything on my list in order to improve my French. Attending my weekly lessons, cd's, French movies, attending French dinner parties, reading only French magazines, random tutoring from a handsome man, yet there was one thing that had eluded me until now-- a language exchange partner. One day, while picking up some home repair supplies at the BHV I encountered the most darling young, freckle-faced cashier, Sevrine. She spotted my poor French accent immediately and jumped at the chance to try out her English (side note: Really? Me saying "Pardon" was a dead give away!?). She asked me if I had ever read Eat, Pray, Love (who in the world did she think she was talking to? Is it that obvious?). I immediately replied, "Oui, beaucoup!" She said that she really wanted a language exchange partner like in the Italy chapters of the book.

So now I have a language exchange partner. Check.

4. Game day decision leading to a perfect celebration.

With an infinite amount of ways that one could spend their birthday in Paris, I found myself paralyzed by the possibilities. This indecision left me with only one option-- make a game day decision. My game day plan? Have one glass of champagne at Le Baron Rouge with my beautiful friend before dinner at a new Mexican (yes, that's right, Mexican!) restaurant, Candelaria. If you want to hear God laugh, then tell him your plans. (see also: we never made it to dinner). What I didn't count on was that we would spend the evening with Bernard Delis. He is the oyster man from Cap-Ferret, who brings oysters from the sea to Le Baron Rouge every weekend during oyster season. Not only was it my birthday, but it also marked the final weekend of oyster season. We over-celebrated both by eating oysters and drinking champagne in the street, like ya do.

5. Overflowing with love and abundance.

Although I was many miles away from the majority of my family and friends, I felt the incredible love vibes from afar. But especially on my birthday. I am so grateful for all of the phone calls, skype messages, birthday wishes on Facebook, birthday singing videos, emails, cards, surprise packages, gifts, and drunk dials. My cup runneth over.

I have one word for Mars: Merci!

Regretter

2011-03-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

Regretter (Fr.)/ Regret (Eng.) verb:
To feel sorry, disappointed or distressed about. Te remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow.

"Daddy, what does regret mean? Well son, the funny thing about regret is, it's better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done...."
- excerpt from "Sweet Loaf" by Butthole Surfers

I wonder what is more bothersome, saying something and wishing you hadn’t, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

Given the punk wisdom of my youth I am going to go with the later. As a mature adult, I think the only caveat I would add to this wisdom is to consider the following: will the act intentionally hurt someone?

Point de vue

2011-03-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

Point de vue (Fr.)/ Perspective (Eng.) noun:

a mental view or outlook.
the relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole; subjective evaluation of relative significance.
the ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance.

Its no secret that I am in love with all things Parisian. The Parisian way of life seems to suit me, and I feel elated each and every day that I get to experience this lifestyle. However, there is one element of the Parisian way that finds me having some disempowering thoughts. Specifically it is around the Parisienne body type. Just about every woman (or at least the ones I seem to look at) are thin. I don't mean not fat, I mean thin. Model thin. As in fashionable clothing looks fantastic on them.

I do not fall into this category. I have a butt and hips, which seems to be a rarity in Paris. When I go running, I actually *gasp* wear fitted running pants. You would think that I was running through the streets naked with my hair on fire from the looks that I get. I have been told that it is because they have never seen genuine workout clothes in public before, but in my head it is the size of my butt that is garnering the attention.

Today as I was walking home from the market (in normal street attire... fashion jeans, Dries Van Noten boots, a Jane Mayle coat, and a scarf of course) I found myself fantasizing about ways I could acquire the Parisienne body type. Not eating for a month, smoking like a fiend, drinking nothing but black coffee, all came to mind. Ugh. That sounded like the opposite of my ideal lifestyle. It felt very disempowering.

So then it occurred to me, that a more empowering replacement thought could be to focus on all of the compliments or alternate thoughts that I have heard as of lately...

Like from the sales girl at Kookai who convinced me to get a long sweater in a size small so that it would hug my curves, "You need to celebrate your god-given gift. I do, and look at me!" she said while caressing her own hips and butt.

Or from the waitress at the cafe who said that I look very healthy, (full disclosure: I was at a bio cafe and I think she actually said "sportif" and then mentioned something about me doing yoga, so I am chalking it up to "healthy").

Then there was a random Facebook post from my brother today. It had nothing to do with me, but said "Life tip: A good personality beats a spray-on tan any day." (I am replacing the words spray-on tan with stick thin physique). And after sitting next to the most obnoxious rail thin 20-something at a Parisian restaurant last week, I couldn't agree more.

So I am going to try these replacement, empowering thoughts on for size and see how they fit. After all, it may not change the cellular make up of my southern region, but it can't help but seem as if it has.

Réduire

2011-03-25T02:36:00.001-07:00

(photo by Tommy Ton)

Réduire (Fr.)/Reduce (Eng) verb:
to lessen in any way, as in size, weight, amount, value, price; diminish; to put into a simpler or more concentrated form.

"In order to seek one's own direction, one must simplify the mechanics of ordinary, everyday life."
- Plato

"Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves."
- Edwin Way Teale

It's springtime in Paris and the temperatures are beginning to warm, which means that the layers begin to be shed. To many, it signals spring cleaning, a clearing out of closets and removal of dust and debris from homes. Perhaps it is because I live in a teeny tiny Parisian apartment, with only what fits inside of two duffels, a carry on, and a briefcase, but to me it is prompting a different type of clearing.

I have a tendency to have a lot on my plate at all times. I tend to thrive when I am busy. But being in Paris has caused an awareness around my busyness and perhaps even changed my relationship with it. I find myself longing for periods of nothingness, where I can just be, focus on the things that I truly enjoy, reflect, play, and God forbid, do nothing.

I have been advised that it is time to remove things from my plate in order to make space for my life to unfold. This is really uncomfortable for me. I suppose it is similar to that feeling you have before you take that bag of clothes, clothes that you once adored, to Goodwill. Yet, afterwards you realize that you really don't miss them at all and even feel lighter and more buoyant.

The key is in trusting that your life will continue to be abundant and full even if your closet, and schedule are not.

Printemps

2011-03-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

Printemps (Fr.)/ Spring (End.) noun

A source, origin, beginning.
The season of the year occurring between winter and summer, during which the weather becomes warmer and plants revive.
A time of growth and renewal.

I love the fact that the first day of Spring fell on a Sunday this year. Sundays are my scheduled days for just being. It helps that pretty much every store, museum, wine bar, (good) restaurant is closed on Sundays, which is meant as a gesture to encourage French citizens to enjoy time with their family. Not having any blood relatives to hang with on Sundays, I spent it in my own reverent way.

I bought strawberries, tomatoes, avocados and flowers at the Place Monge Farmer's market.
Ate the perfect veggie Vietnamese sandwich (prepared by the most adorable Chinese girl named Alizia) on a bench overlooking the Seine.
Did my French homework from the comfort of a reclining chair in the Luxemborg Gardens. (and by "homework" I mean that I held my French book while I peered over it to stare at approximately a bazillion couples making out big time. It is the first day of spring after all.)
Walked endlessly through the streets of Paris, listening to Stevie Wonder.
Was stopped dead in my tracks by an army of roller bladders. (not sure if army is the right term, but what exactly is the proper term for a mass of roller bladers?)
And now I am home, sitting down to the perfect First-Day-of-Spring dinner which is comprised of A bottle of Chateau Montauriol Fronton Tradition (Negrette/Cab Franc/Syrah), strawberries and Rocher Noir chocolat treats (my favorite) from the boulangerie across the street.

If today is any indication, this new year is going to be spectacular.

Here's to spring!

à faire

2011-03-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

à faire (Fr.) To do (Eng.) verb

I love Alber Elbaz, the designer for Lanvin. His collections are amazing and induce serious drooling by yours truly. Today I saw a quote from him regarding the recent A/W '11 collections.

"Backstage I am seeing only the mistakes. I see what works, but I see more what doesn't. I guess that is the reason I come to the studio the next day. To start all over again."
- Alber Elbaz

Right now I am working a lot. It is such a blessing to be given the opportunity to work on a project that focuses on making a significant change in the world, especially when it is on behalf of a large corporation. People (myself included) have a tendency to harsh on the "corporate world" as a rebellion to cubicle life, profit-focused disregard for the greater good. So you can understand why I must count my blessings everyday that I have been hired to manage a project for the world's largest technology company to help them spread the word of their philanthropic efforts. And that's not all, I get to do it from my apartment in Paris, which is pretty much the opposite of cubicle life.

So then why is it that when asked "how is life in Paris?" do I start out by saying, "How would I know? I work all the time", as if it were a complaint? I mention how I don't have time to go to the museums, drink coffee in cafes, or take in the Parisian scene from a bench on the Seine. It seems I am focusing on what I don't have and what I am not doing rather than what I DO have and what I AM doing. Geez, I know better than this!

If recognizing this behavior is the first step, then doing something about it must be the next. From now on I will focus my answer on stating what I do have, and am doing:

photo by TommyTon for Style.com

I am enjoying life as a true Parisian. Not a tourist.
I am blessed to do work everyday that matters.
I have a job that I am paid for and do it from the comfort of my apartment, in Paris!
I work with people who are lovely.
I have Saturdays for indulging in all of the markets, boutiques, museums, restaurants that I can manage.
I have Sundays for focusing on my personal pursuits, which will soon evolve into time spent picnicking in the parks.
I am entrusted with important projects and my decision making is admired and respected.
I live in a neighborhood in the center of everything, so if I need to run out for an errand, it is sure to be within a short walking distance.
I have internet connections that make it a seamless process.
I am so so so blessed with this opportunity.

And I hope to wake up everyday to start it all over again.

Voyage

2011-03-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

Voyage (Fr.)/ Journey (Eng.) noun/verb: The act of traveling from one place to another; a trip.

"I've come to believe in something I call the Physics of the Quest. A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of quest physics goes something like this, if you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house, to bitter old resentments, and set out on a true seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue. and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher. And if you are prepared most of all, to face and accept some very difficult realities about yourself then the truth will not be withheld from you. I can't help but believe it given my experience."

- Elizabeth Gilbert

une situation

2011-03-12T02:39:00.000-08:00

"I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

— Maya Angelou

Japon in Paris

2011-03-08T16:06:00.000-08:00

Remember this time last year when my trip to Japon was suddenly and unexpectdedly cancelled? And remember how I immediately resorted to a Plan B to go to Paris instead? (you probably don't remember, but trust me, this is what happened) Well this post has nothing to do with that, or maybe it does?

Yesterday I treated myself to a Japonais massage on the Isle Saint Louis in Paris. I wasn't expecting to, but I passed this little gem of a place on my walk home. As I stopped in front of the window admiring the traditional and simplistic Japonais decor I was met with a smile from the man behind the counter inside. Not seeing a lot of smiling lately, I immediately went inside.

The smell of brown rice green tea, soft Japonais musique playing, and Emanuel (the man with the kind smile) made me think that I had FINALLY found my people.

I inquired about prices, techniques, massage styles and scheduling. Next thing you know, I had signed up for the next massage opening an hour later. With an hour to kill and a hungry stomach, it was recommended that I go to a "fantastique" Italian restaurant for a light meal. Done and Done.

When I returned, I didn't know what to expect for so many reasons. Had I planned to receive a Japonais massage in the states I would have had some wonder, sure. But in French? In a country who is not know for its healing arts? With a Japonaise masseuse who only speaks Japonais and French? Perhaps for the first time in my massage-getting journey, I was void of any expectations/demands at all.

Yuka was my masseuse and she smiled more in that hour and a half than I had experienced in the past three months. Ahhh! Normally I would be very vocal during a massage, pointing out troubled areas, asking for more pressure here and working out tension there. This is probably because of my belief that it must hurt a little in order to be "productive".

I see this belief rearing its head in all aspects of my life, with my work, with my French learning, with my exercise regime, etc. Yet, during this massage I allowed it to just be, in all of its gentle and soft goodness. Lo and behold, what do you know? I found it to be more "productive" and effective in ways that I couldn't have foreseen.

I was surrounded by gentleness.
I felt safe.
I was relaxed.
I was able to reflect.
I was able to let go.
I was happily enjoying a day of solitude.
I was able to marinade in the energy of my self-created perfect day.

When's the last time I reaped these benefits from some hard and maybe even a little painful pressure?

Exactly.

Février: les cinq premiers

2011-03-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

Wow. Hard to believe that I have been in Paris for two months already, The time is certainly flying. I still wake up every single day and pinch myself. Here is a small sampling of the Parisian experiences that made me smile during the cold month of Février:

1. Finding the perfect running trails through the Luxemborg Gardens.

And proof that Parisians are beginning to warm up to the whole exercise thing.

2. A VIP view of spring unfolding, which serves as a beautiful reminder that things always get brighter. (Hence the reason why spring follows winter.)

3. Realizing that Parisians have their priorities straight as evidenced by this Marais wine shop's window display. Just the essentials.

Later that same day I stumbled upon a perfect by-the-glass trifecta, at Le Baron Rouge, of 2006 Gaillac, Pinot Noir d' Alsace 2009 and Malbec for a grand total of 9 euros. As the good lord intended.

4. Free French classes at the Marie 5eme (a mere 3 second walk from my apartment) filled with beautiful women from China, Venezuela, Vietnam, and the Netherlands. And lead by Veronique our lovely French instructor. (sorry no photo, you'll just have to take my word for it, they are all beautiful physically as well as energetically).

5. Oh and the shopping discoveries...

The final days of the Winter Soldes means extra % off already steep discounts. I found the last pair in my size of men's oxfords that I had been eyeing since I arrived.

The bonus was that French women don't "understand" AllSaints Spitalfield (perhaps that is because dresses typically have four arm holes) which means that I had the place all to myself. I was even able to find a spacious dressing room that I could comfortably try on all of my AllSaints finds. This is a true surprise as the Soldes typically draw crowds at the major shopping destinations like you wouldn't believe, which means dressing rooms are usually out of the question.

Only to be outdone by the scores I found later at the corner Pharmacie.

Klorane oatmeal dry shampoo (I can now go an obscene amount of days between shampoos, pure bliss!), Avibon (full of Vitamin A and apparently it will keep my face, feet and hands young, soft, and blemish/wrinkle free), Homeplasmine (for dry, winter-ravaged skin), Vitamine C (because who couldn't use an extra boost of Vitamin C?), and OPI nail strengthener (since I haven't found a manicurist that I can effectively communicate with).

Here's to finding the pinch-worthiness in every day!

des conseils

2011-02-25T04:10:00.000-08:00

Des Conseils (Fr.)/ Advice (Eng.) noun: opinion about what could or should be done in a situation or problem.

"Any advice that doesn't feel liberating is wrong. Ignore it."
- Martha Beck

Foudre

2011-02-23T03:45:00.000-08:00

Foudre (Fr.)/ lightning (Eng.) (noun)

the flashing of light produced by a discharge of atmospheric electricity; the discharge itself
a sudden stroke of fortune

In the Joan Rivers' documentary "A Piece of Work", agent/manager Larry Thompson has a wonderful way of phrasing Ms. Rivers’ staying power when he says: “To get hit by lightning, you have to stand out in the rain, often for a very long time.”

I recently shared news with a friend of mine of a new venture that I am beginning . Her reaction was exactly what I had feared, it implied that I am never satisfied with any one thing. In a nutshell, she had a hard time understanding why I would begin something new, yet again. Why am I always embarking on something new, working so hard towards new goals, rather than relaxing and finding solace in my current situation? She reminded me that my current situation was the pursuit of a new venture not that long ago. She attempted to give me a proverbial shoulder shaking when she asked, "Darling, you must stop and ask yourself, what is your real life's dream?". My response, "I am living it. I have many dreams within this dream."

Perhaps I will stop pursuing my soul's ventures and settled into something permanent when I have a clear signal that it is time to do just that. Lightning seems like a clear enough sign.

l'obscurité

2011-02-21T15:26:00.000-08:00

image from Kim Gordon's exhibition at No6

l'obscurité (Fr.): obscurity (Eng.): Noun

The absence of light; darkness.
The quality or condition of being unknown.
The quality or condition of being imperfectly known or difficult to understand.

When you are in between languages, it is hard to be truly understood. I don't know enough French to be able to explain nuances or provide context for many of my thoughts. So I find that when I say something it is taken at face value, as a definitive statement. (like the time I replied "oui" to my ex-boyfriend's marriage proposal when I really meant "peut-être") Or I have to go on and on and on about something in order to make sure that it's intended message is accurately delivered, which is nearly impossible due to my limited French.

This has resulted in me being more cautious with speaking, to choose my words wisely, and to listen more than I speak.

In Buddhism, they have something they call right speech-- the way in which the practitioner chooses their words in order to abstain from lying, using abusive or divisive speech, and idle chatter. I try to abide by those rules even in my native tongue (with varying degrees of success in the idle chatter department), yet now it has forced me to say only what is absolutely necessary in order to communicate a thought.

Although at times it can be rather uncomfortable, it really isn't a bad way to be. I am learning a great deal about myself in this process.

Bardo

2011-02-10T15:44:00.000-08:00

Bardo (noun): Tibetan Buddhism refers to Bardo as the state of the soul between its death and its rebirth.

I am reading a great book right now, Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. I am really digging this book, not just because he is talking about my favorite subject, the soul, but because he references Greek mythology which I used to be obsessed with when I was younger. And like a breath of fresh air, he also has introduced me to many new concepts, such as alchemy for the soul, homeopathic treatment for certain emotions, and now Bardo.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead describes Bardo as that time in between incarnations, the period before birth into life. Moore says that "Bardo takes time; it can't be rushed. There's no point in premature birth."

Currently I know how to speak enough French to get by, but as I am uncovering in my day to day interactions, not enough to live fully; to express the nuances of my thoughts, to provide context to an otherwise short, definitive answer. In my previous time in France, my French has never slowed me down, and now that I am living in France, it seems to have done just that. I wonder if this is just a symptom of my own personal Bardo state?

In talking to my mother today, I mentioned how I will attempt to enroll in the arrondissement French course tomorrow. It is an "attempt" because the course began five months ago, so I would be requesting that they make an exception and allow me to jump in mid stream. And if this doesn't work then I will find a professional tutor (not the casual tutoring that my friends supply over wine). My mom's reply was "Good for you. I love how you always move forward." (ah, thanks Mom)

So perhaps a Bardo state is really just another term for the birth canal. And what choice does a baby really have, but to move forward? Eventually.

Soulmates

2011-02-03T03:29:00.000-08:00

It is no secret that I adore Reggie Watts. If I were to describe my perfect man, I would no doubt list all of the qualities that I think Reggie embodies... humor, wit, intelligence, talent, style, spark (to capture you in a way that you never thought you could be captured) and charm.

So yesterday, I was given the opportunity to ask Reggie any question of my choice. Whoa, what an incredible opportunity. There were so many, yet I shocked myself when I chose to ask him the following:

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

To my astonishment, he not only answered me, he answered me via video. You would suspect that his answer would be humorous or cloaked in some form of performance, especially given my unusual topic. Yet his response was quite serious. You can see it here:

Janvier: les cinq premiers

2011-01-31T14:16:00.000-08:00

It is hard to keep up with all the reasons why I adore Paris. In an effort to put them into words/images, here is January's top five list of the things that make me happy in Paris.

1. Handwritten notes.

I have received more handwritten notes in the one month that I have lived here than I receive in one year back in the states.

My first handwritten note was taped to the front door of my apartment by my crabby-ass, crazy neighbor. I, of course, handwrote my rebuttle (with some localization help by my French friend who is a stickler for French nuances). A couple of weeks later, I received another handwritten note in my mailbox. This one is from an anonymous source instructing me that I must have a couple of professional plaques made for the intercom and mailbox as the inkjet printed version that I have inserted into the slot will no doubt give all the other tenants license to junk up all of the common spaces (uh, okay).

Just when I began to think that I was being singled out and was beginning to take it personally, a friend gave me some great insight... "Just because you are getting handwritten notes, don't think that you are special or that it is personal. It isn't that way in France. In the US, you write a note when you want someone to know how meaningful and special they are. In France you handwrite a note because you refuse to accept and don't know how to use any other forms of nouvelle communication, like a phone, email, etc."

Sometimes, it feels really nice to know that it's them, not me.

2. Baies candles and the Diptyque mothership right down the street.

Diptyque's flagship boutique on St. Germain

Anyone who has ever been to my house in the states knows that I love Diptyque's Baies candles. I suppose you could say that it is my home's signature scent. So, when I realized that Diptyque's original flagship store was a 4 minute walk from my apartment in Paris, I couldn't get there fast enough.

My knowledge of Diptyque (thanks to my friend Trey) seemed to impress Jean-Luc at Diptyque. And while I intended only to stock up on a couple of Baies (and perhaps an eau de toilette for good measure), what I came home with was another story. Jean-Luc stock piled my bag with every scent that he thought would be sympathique with my taste. Plus, a book about Diptyque and the formulas for their scents to further my Diptyque education.

In addition to an apartment that smells like home, I have a couple of brand new scents that are awakening my senses.

3. Octopus by Philippe Decouflé

My darling girlfriend had a recent Friday night free (her parents would watch her 3 year-old over night). Her desire was that we somehow secure tickets to a sold out (and highly sought after) dance performance of Octopus that was choreographed and directed by Philippe Decouflé at Théâtre National de Chaillot. I assumed that this task was impossible. Alas, proving once again that she has magical powers for manifesting ANYTHING she wants, we miraculously had two tickets for the Friday night performance. Not just ANY two tickets; we would be sitting in the front row, center stage for the performance.

Théâtre National de Chaillot

I experienced a dance and musical treat unlike anything I have ever seen before. The dancing, the costumes, the artistic back drop, the live music and the subject matter was beyond my wildest dreams. If I were to try and explain the theme, I would say that it was one of love and beauty; of contrasts and opposites. With co-dependency, jealousy and independence as some of its sub-themes. Here is a small glimpse.

Oh, and the live music that I mentioned could have been a show unto itself. Nosfell performed live on stage with a partner who periodically chimed in on the cello, piano, and drums... like ya do.

4. Half a baguette.

I have been getting very concerned about my carbohydrate intake and its aftermath. Much like it is for every other Parisian, it has become part of my routine to pick up a baguette at some point almost everyday. God forbid I be without one when searching for a conduit for my cheese, avocado, nutella, etc. Yet having a baguette in my apartment means that I inevitably end up eating the whole freaking thing. So I was delighted to learn that you can ask/pay for half a baguette. "C'est normale." Whew!

5. Paol's Tour of the Basquiat Exhibition.

Paris is hosting the largest Jean Michael Basquiat Exhibition until January 30th at the Musée de' Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris (MaM). Usually when I go to the museum, I go by myself equipped with some form of soundtrack... like music or an audio track to explain the work in more detail.

This time was different.

I was given a guided tour by Paol, who works at the Musee de' Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris. Paol is a friend of my Parisian friend, so he gave us the tour entirely in French. I chose to go it without a parachute (i.e. no English translation pamphlet as back up) and therefore, found myself paying rapt attention. Here are five things I learned about Basquiat:

- He had a long-term girlfriend, Suzanne Mallouk, who is now a Phychiatrist.
- In the early 80's he cheated on her with pre-fame Madonna.
- Suzanne beat up Madonna as a result, at The Roxy.
- Basquait paid tribute to the scuffle in a couple of his paintings. (like this one below with an image of Suzanne wearing big shoes, and several punching fist references)

- His art career was short, from age 20 until he died at 27. In that time he created over 1,000 paintings and 2,000 sketches.

- He was obsessed with Charlie Parker.

And while his painting were A.M.A.Z.I.N.G, they also came infused with little bits of inspirational wisdom.

Good luck Février, you've got some big shoes to fill.

la vulnérabilité

2011-01-22T05:51:00.000-08:00

(Anna Dello Russo, photo by TommyTon)

la vulnérabilité (Fr.)/ vulnerability (Eng.); noun

Capable or susceptible to being wounded or hurt

I have been thinking a lot about vulnerability and its benefits. This subject comes up for me about 8 out of 10 times when I walk out my door. Especially when I go to the theatre, the small and intimate type of theatre, not the grande sized theatre, where you can actually hide in the crowd. I find myself going to the smaller venues quite a bit as the majority of my Parisian friends are involved in theatre to some extent.

The thing about a smaller sized theatre is that the actors actually involve the audience in their performances. And while this would not normally be an intimidating factor in an English speaking environment, it causes me a great deal of anxiety in a French speaking environment as my French comprehension is quite poor. I find myself praying that they will not call me out. And I even make silent declarations to myself as I sit in the audience avoiding eye contact with the actors, that I will not put myself in this situation ever again. Yet, I know that you must expand yourself outside of your comfort zone if you want to experience life at its fullest, which is why, I suppose, I will go to yet another intimate theatre performance tonight.

It occurred to me that I could transform my anxiety into a sensation that is a tad bit more enjoyable. For example, focusing my energy on channeling my sense of humor about my lack of comprehension rather than my embarrassment of it. Or, perhaps I could simply embrace my vulnerability, lean into it, and even shine a light on it.

There is a very wise researcher/story-teller (yes, that is her real-life profession), Brene Brown who claims that people who have the courage to be imperfect and show the world who they are with their whole heart, experience a connection of authenticity that leads to (and enhances) a happy existence.

To have the courage to be imperfect and show the world who they are, letting go of who they think they should be in order to be who they are. And to fully embrace vulnerability and believe that which makes them vulnerable, makes them beautiful.

If you have 20 minutes, you can check out the full TEDtalk on this subject, which raises the point that when you feel vulnerable means that you are alive:

Cadenas

2011-01-16T06:41:00.000-08:00

Padlock (Eng.)/Cadenas (Fr.) noun:

A portable or detachable lock, with a pivoted or sliding shackle that can be passed through a link.

Walking across the Pont de l'Archeveche, I couldn't help but stop to take in the sight of thousands of padlocks which are affixed to its railings. They come in all shapes and sizes, old and antique, but they all have one thing in common, the promise of eternal love.

For years, love-struck couples and love-lorn individuals have been engraving these padlocks with their initials and adding their sentiments, affixing them to the railing and tossing the key into the Seine below. It is said to symbolize their eternal love, under the watchful eye of Notre Dame nearby. This is not specific only to this particular bridge, and I think this concept originated in China. Earlier this year, the Paris government removed them all in a bridge clean up effort, which you would never know by the amount of padlocks that have already appeared.

As I strolled throughout the streets of Paris, I couldn't believe how many other random padlocks that I spotted. Had they been there all along and I am just now noticing them beacuse of my experience on the Pont de l'Archeveche? That got me to thinking... had every person that I saw on the street (of which there were hundreds if not thousands) experienced this sense of eternal love?

If not, then why? Or better yet, I like to think that the question is, when?

Parfait

2011-01-09T04:00:00.000-08:00

Parfait (Fr.)/ Perfect (eng.) Adj.:

Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.
Being without defect or blemish.
Completely suited for a particular purpose or situation.
Excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement.
Exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose.
Accurate, exact, or correct in every detail.

Did you ever have one of those days when everything just seemed perfect? I am having one of those days today, and it is only noon.

I woke up to the sun shining into my Parisian apartment, made a perfect cup of coffee, had an inspiring conversation with a dear friend, took a walk to pick up a croissant, and there it was... as if to say, today is your day. A window full of all white flowers. In my perfect world, I am surrounded by only white flowers, and the florist on my corner mirrored back this sentiment.

I realize that perfection is a state of mind. And to maintain perfection is to accept everything that happens or will happen as being exactly as it should be. So with that in mind, I am off to continue my perfect day.

Bonus photo from today, courtesy of my sun drenched perch in the Jardin du Luxemborg. God bless a perfect state of mind.

Leçons

2011-01-05T05:29:00.000-08:00

Photo by Ashley Miller

Leçons (Fr.)/ Lessons (Eng.) Noun

A useful piece of practical wisdom acquired by exerience or study.
An instructive example
A section into which a course of study is divided, especially a single, continuous session or formal instruction in a subject.

It's official, I live in Paris, if only for a year. Although it has only been seven days, 4 of which have been spent in bed battling a cold, and 2 spent babysitting a 3-year-old French boy, and one at the Pompidou Museum, I have already acquired some indispensible lessons.

Leçons: part une

Babysitting multiple 3-year-olds in an English speaking environment is considerably easier than babysitting one 3-year-old in a French speaking country.
Weigh your produce and print out their respective barcode stickers PRIOR to getting into the check out line at the market.
Never cross the crosswalk when the "petite homme rouge" is still lit.
Don't wait until your funeral to find out what people thought about you, just move to France.
No matter how uncomfortable a situation is, it will always get better.
Practice kindness whenever possible, it is always possible.
The best way to prevent facial wrinkles from deepening, is to practice smiling with your forehead.
Vous-vous the grouchy neighbor, tu will only make it worse.
Charm trumps intelligence.

Quiche

2011-01-02T05:28:00.000-08:00

I have decided that I am going to embrace the kitchen challenges that my teeny tiny Parisian apartment presents.

I have all the basics: small refrigerator, induction burner, toaster oven, and electric kettle. The catch (other than lack of space)? Only one heating appliance can be turned on at a time, and that includes the space heater in the other room. If you turn on more than one at the same time, ka-pow!, the power goes off. I have made this my personal mission to avoid said power outages (truth be told, I am afraid that I won't know what to do to turn it back on), which has proven to be an act of extreme coordination and planning.

I am also determined to not let the space and electrical challenges get in my way of preparing the types of culinary treats that you would expect from a Parisian. So yesterday I embarked on my first quiche in Paris, from scratch. No, I did not cheat and prepare a frozen entree quiche form the box. Although I did purchase the pastry dough.

The toaster over:

The pastry shell:

The filling:

The point, where I almost turned back (aka the only fire alarm in all of Paris). I faced this set back head on and removed the battery like any real chef would do:

The end result:

Here's to a new year filled with facing new challenges with enthusiasm, not turning back when they get complicated, and to a belly full of amazing culinary delights!

Bonne année!

2010-12-31T15:33:00.000-08:00

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I feel like every year has a theme, and 2010's theme seemed to be centered around patience. When I was in Paris earlier this year, I found myself learning the lesson of patience over and over. And now that I am back, this time for a lengthy stay, I wonder if I have finally come full circle. Yet getting here was certainly no picnic. There were moments when the obstacles seemed unsurmountable and never ending. I can't even begin to recount the number of times I had to remind myself to put one foot in front of the other, and that things will eventually work out. And now, here I am, ringing in the new year back in Paris!

Today I received my final 2010 horoscope that reverberated this very subject.

"Life-changing moments are often the result of prolonged effort. You may feel like you're at the end of your rope, but keep the faith-- you've got a few more feet left and that's all you need."

A few more feet left? But I am here. I suppose that getting here wasn't my life changing moment, but rather, it is just ahead of me. A few feet ahead, to be exact.

Here's to the new year! Welcome 2011.

Solace

2010-12-17T16:09:00.000-08:00

(Photo by Scott Schuman, thesartorialist.com)

Solace (Eng.) / Consolation (Fr.): noun

Comfort in sorrow, misfortune or trouble; alleviation o distress or discomfort.
Something that gives comfort, consolation or grief.

Tonight is my going away cocktail party at my local wine bar. I will be saying goodbye to my dearest friends on the eve of my departure for Paris. As I prepared myself for the goodbyes that I will be facing, I stumbled upon some news of a different "good bye" variety. I just learned that Carine Roitfeld has left Paris Vogue. How could that be? Just days before my relocation to Paris?! I feel that the timing of this is auspicious for sure.

While this is shocking, and definitely saddens me, it is my job to receive this news as a hopeful sign. To embrace all of the change that will continue and hope that I can find solace in the possibilities that it offers.

Stand

2010-11-09T22:42:00.000-08:00

It's nice to know that no matter what, someone's right behind you, backing you up all the way. Sometimes, however, you must stand on your own two feet and do it yourself, just to know that you can.

Arms

2010-10-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

Arm (Eng.)/ Bras (Fr.) : noun
• an upper limb of the human body
• anything thought of as being arm like, especially in being attached or connected to something.

"The most beautiful clothing for a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who do not have this happiness, I am here for them."
- Yves Saint Laurent

Lucky

2010-10-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

Lucky (Eng.)/Lucky (Fr.) : adjective

• Fortunate. Favorable.

"If you're lucky, you wake up in your forties."

- Ali McGraw

Mantra

2010-10-09T15:04:00.000-07:00

Mantra (Eng.)/ Mantra (Fr.): noun

Any sacred word or phrase used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power.

I recently heard a snippet from a Louise Hay interview that caught my attention. She was sharing her life's mantra. Apparently she reiterates this aloud daily, and multiple times a day. It goes something like this:

"All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good, and the highest good of others. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe."

She also said that the key to living a happy, loving and blessed life is "to always be grateful in advance."

The mantra seemed dangerously close to a mock self help affirmation that Stuart Smalley would have spewed in an SNL skit. But its message really is a perfect reminder throughout the day.

So here I go, "Thank you universe for cooperating with me to clear the obstacles that are temporarily standing between me and Paris."

Reality

2010-10-04T23:07:00.000-07:00

Reality (Eng.)/ Réalité (Fr.) Noun

the state or quality of being real
resemblences to what is
a real thing or fact
something that exists independently of ideas concerning it.
something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive.

I've been on the wagon for a month. It was just time for me to take a break from wine. I wanted to miss it again. Or perhaps I am getting drunk off of the reality of my upcoming changes. This lucidity has allowed me to tune into the universe's vibrational hum as I tackle fearful decisions, and knock off items on my to do list with wild abandon. I have no doubt that the celebratory wine will be well deserved soon enough.

"When a lot of change is happening, or a new dynamic is presenting itself, I want to be deft and aware. (When I put my plans in place to up and move across the country) I was a reality junkie. I wanted to be aware and take it all in. The high was coming from the soberness of being able to experience every sensation. I can't imagine being like this again for a while... every once in a great while you get the sensation that you are exactly where you need to be, with razor sharp clarity, and you want to hold onto it and savor every last ounce of it. I can't think of anything more refreshing. It took a lot of faith to get here."
- Theo Enzo Aalto, since 1976

Passion

2010-10-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

Passion (Eng.)/ Passion (Fr.): noun

A strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.
Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling.

The single most important step to connecting with your passion is to find the things that turn you on and begin doing them. Don't judge what they are, just do what you enjoy. For me, that means fashion magazines, documentaries, Paris and wine, and not necessarily in that order. This is the key to living a passionate life.

There are three elements that you must have in place as you tap into your passionate life:

Friends
Facts
Faith

Friends: Surround yourself with people who love and support you and have your happiness and best interest in mind. This does not mean that you should look to naysayers or pessimists to supply you with love and support, but rather, seek those who are ready and willing to lift you up.

Facts: Want to create your own comic book? Open a wellness center? Publish a blog about possibilities? Gather the facts. Do the research and find out everything you think you need to know to make the next step. This is important because you will undoubtedly face fear along the path, and when you do it is a good idea to revisit the facts in order to keep the fear in check. Similar to the comfort that we get when we pet our dogs or cats, I call the revisiting of data "petting the data".

Faith: Take a leap of faith and act. Step off the cliff and learn to fly. There is only so much due diligence that one can accomplish before needing to jump. As Cheryl Richardson said, "You must act. You must try new things. You must pursue the things that interest you. You must make mistakes. You must act. Because action opens us up to passion."

Reconnecting with your passion gives you energy that counteracts the fear that no doubt will pop up time and time again.

Fou

2010-09-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

Fou (Fr.)/ Basketcase (Eng.): Noun

a person unable to function, especially because of emotional disturbance
anything that does not function properly.

"I don’t want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don’t want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun - hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, “Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case.” I will turn and say to them, “It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn’t even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!” And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup."
- Henry Rollins

Future

2010-09-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today's horoscope seems especially applicable. I wonder if Madonna felt this same sensation before she embarked on NYC with only $35 in her pocket?

Guided by the Universe

You might feel convinced that your ideas are on the right track toward achieving your goals, for knowing what you want and how to get it could give you the sense that everything is going to turn out for the best today. Perhaps your self-assurance could be the result of your belief in yourself and your trust that the universe will guide you to find the right path. Focusing on your connection with the universe today can enhance your feelings of confidence and give you a greater sense of what the future may hold for you. Just reminding yourself periodically throughout the day that the universe will take care of you—and knows what is best for you—might make it easier for you to place your dreams in its hands. You may notice that your confidence strengthens the more you are able to let go of your desires and let the universe take over for you.

When we know that the universe protects and guides us, we cultivate a greater sense of ease about what the future holds. Our feeling that things will work out is usually rooted in our knowledge that there is a strength in us that will help manifest our dreams. Much of this strength comes from our relationship with a power that exists beyond us – something that can give us hope even when times seem rough. By placing your trust in the universe today, your confidence about your future and your dreams will flourish.

Rue

2010-09-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Rue (Fr.)/Street (Eng.) noun:

a thoroughfare, especially in a city, town, or village that is wider than an alley or lane and that usually includes sidewalks.

An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

by Portia Nelson (1993)

Chapter One

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost... I am helpless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend that I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe that I am in this same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see that it is there.

I still fall in... it's a habit... but,

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter Four

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter Five

I walk down another street.

Philosophy

2010-09-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been dealing with a lot of uncertainty, vagueness, and roadblocks. Often, I find myself reflecting on "What would Wayne Dyer Think about this?". And every single time, it comes up that he would simply choose to think of the good that any given situation has to offer. He has been quoted as saying, "If you really focus on what you think, and choose only good thoughts, then nothing has to be bad."

I have been choosing to see the good in every situation-- when I am conscious, which is certainly not all the time, because I am human after all. Yet I am still affected by other people's interpretation of my positive outlook. Some may call me a "spin doctor" which I think has a negative connotation. I suppose that is because I have experienced this term being used to reflect inauthenticity, manipulation, or lying. Other people may simply use a strange tone or give me a look that I interpret as "I don't believe that anything good just happened to you, it is just what you WANT me to think because things are really bad."

So my challenge to myself is to avoid the people who can't accept this viewpoint. And if I can't avoid them, then my goal is to simply remind myself that they too get to choose. And it just so happens that they may be choosing bad thoughts. Go figure.

Go

2010-08-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

(photo by Seaofshoes)

Go (v., Eng.)/ Aller (v., Fr.): to move or proceed, esp. to or from something

"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go."
— Sylvia Robinson

Tonight is a full moon, which is actually at its fullest at 7:11am (PST) tomorrow. They say that a full moon is for letting things go, and a new moon is for drawing things to you. This is a time to transform your life and strip away ideas, beliefs and maybe even people who do not connect with the person you are today.

Although a very significant friend of mine moved away today, it is important to mention that I am not focusing on this type of removal as I contemplate the effects of the full moon. That is because I believe that we sometimes have to let go of things in order to understand what is truly important. And the importance of this particular friendship has only been strengthened by saying good bye.

Instead, I focus on the removal of certain blockages, which I trust will allow more good to flow to and through me. So tonight I made a list of the things that I would like removed in order to create space for more good. I asked myself, "what can I change or remove so that I can live more authentically?" There were six distinct experiences that appeared on that list. I also ended up listing out things that I wanted to make room for in my life. And without thinking about it, I came up with exactly six experiences that I wanted more of. Whoa-- even a simple coincidence feels powerful during a full moon.

What makes up your list(s)? What do you want to remove in order to make way for the good to appear when the new moon rolls around on September 8th?

Jour

2010-08-17T15:57:00.000-07:00

Jour (n., Fr.)/Day (n. Eng.):

The period of light between dawn and nightfall
the interval from sunrise to sunset

"It's a shame that we only have dreams at night. You should have a few opportunities during the day."

- Stephen Aleschi, Roman and Willams

Want

2010-08-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

Want (v., Eng.)/ Vouloir (v., Fr.):

To desire greatly; to wish for.

"Whenever something that you think you want does not unfold, it is for one of two reasons: Either your habit of vibration, your belief, your dominant vibration that you are offering relative to the subject, doesn't match what you think your desire is, or, you and your desire are a perfect match, and this thing you think you want just doesn't match, and so the Universe doesn't deliver it. "

-Abraham Hicks

Reborn

2010-08-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I have felt compelled to tear out inspiring pages from a magazine. This used to be my favorite past time until I found myself getting lost in a state of nothingness. Not to say that nothingness is a bad thing (see also "Nothing" post) but it was so nice to reconnect with a magazine that resulted in not one, but THREE tear outs. Jackpot! These tear-outable topics included, a first hand recount of visiting the Moonview Sanctuary, a non residential treatment center in Sanata Monica that specializes in grief (among various other things), an article about Paris fashion guru Isabel Marant, and an interview with Drew Barrymore.

Although I have never found the type of connection with Drew Barrymore that some Gen X-ers have, I couldn't help but feel one now. In this interview excerpt, she articulates a sensation that I have been experiencing over the past year or so. But because she is Drew Barrymore, she shares it through the perspective of a Hollywood star.

"For three years straight, I've been burning the candle at both ends, and as of last December, I just didn't have anything left. I've been so aggressive about living life to the fullest and being plugged into everything, but now I've ripped the plug out of the wall and put it on the floor for a while. I'm thinking about the same things as when I was 15, about spirituality and who I am, who I want to be. It's cocoon, pupa, larva, and fuck, I'm reborn!"

- Drew Barrymore, Elle magazine, August 2010

Intuition

2010-08-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

Intuition (n., Eng.)/ Intuition (n. Fr.):

The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition
Knowledge gained by the use of this faculty; a perceptive insight.
A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.

I have been thinking a lot about intuition lately. I find that I am having a hard time recognizing the difference between my intuition, and the mind's ability to influence my intuitive reactions and make rash conclusions. I came across a couple of viewpoints on intuition that I think are helping me to understand the difference. Of course my goal is now to tune in, listen, trust, and respond to these inner signals.

From Abraham Hicks:

Sometimes you walk into things, that, if you were paying attention, vibrationally, you would know right from the beginning that it wasn't what you are wanting. In most cases, your initial knee-jerk response was a pretty good indicator of how it was going to turn out later. The things that give most of you the most grief are those things that initially you had a feeling response about, but then you talked yourself out of it for one reason or another.

From Dr. Wayne Dyer:

For the non-spiritual being, the concept of intuition can be reduced to a hunch or a haphazard thought that accidentally pops into one's head on occasion. For the spiritual being, intuition is far more than a hunch. It is viewed as guidance or as God talking, and this inner insight is never taken lightly or ignored.

You know from your own experience that when you ignore your intuitive proddings, you end up regretting it or having to "learn the hard way".

To the non-spiritual person, intuition is completely unpredictable and occurs in random happenstance. It is often ignored or shunned in favor of behaving in habitual ways. The spiritual being strives to increase consciousness concerning his intuition. He pays attention to invisible messages and knows deep within that there is something working that is much more than a coincidence.

Spiritual beings have an awareness of the nonphysical world and are not stuck exclusively in a universe restricted to the functioning of their five senses. Hence all thoughts, invisible though they may be, are something to pay attention to. But intuition is much more than a thought about something, it is almost as if one is receiving a gentle prod to behave in a certain way or to avoid something that might be dangerous or unhealthy. Although inexplicable, our intuition is truly a factor of our lives.

For the non-spiritual person, this seems to be merely a hunch and nothing to study or become more attuned to. The non-spiritual person thinks, "It will pass. It is just my mind at work in its disorderly way " For the spiritual person, these inner intuitive expressions are almost like having a dialogue with God.

From Yoda:

If good, it feels, then do it you must. Yeesssssss.

Injury

2010-07-29T22:51:00.001-07:00

(photo from sea of shoes)

Injury (n., Eng.): lesión (n., Fr.)

- physical damage or hurt
- Damage or harm done to or suffered by a person or thing
- A particular form of hurt, damage, or loss

Remember that pain has this most excellent quality. If prolonged it cannot be severe, and if severe it cannot be prolonged.

- Seneca

The injuries that befall us unexpectedly are less severe than those which are deliberately anticipated.

- Marcus T. Cicero

The thing about injury is that the moment it happens, it has already begun to heal.

- Me

Believe

2010-07-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

(photo by Garance Dore)

Believe (v., Eng.): Croire (v., Fr.):

to accept as true or real
to expect or suppose

Cinderella: Oh, no. No, it isn't true. It's just no use. No use at all. I can't believe. Not anymore. There's nothing left to believe in. Nothing.

Fairy Godmother: Nothing, my dear? Oh, now you don't really mean that.

Cinderella: Oh, but I do...

Fairy Godmother: Nonsense, child. If you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here. And here I am.
- Cinderella, 1950

Attendez

2010-07-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

Attendez (v. Fr.): Wait (v., Eng)

To remain or rest in expectation
To remain or be in readiness

"I learned to wait. Waiting is very important...to find your voice, you have to make room. If you are always busy then luck can not find you."

- Francesco Clemente

See Francesco Clemente's 2008 interview with Charlie Rose here.

Nothing

2010-07-21T22:26:00.001-07:00

Nothing, noun (Eng.); Rien (Fr.):

having no quantitative value.
Something that has no existence. Yet.

"Being 'in the gap' can be disorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was just this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created. All you can do now is to relax into this nothingness... fall into the silence between the words... watch this gap between the outgoing and incoming breath. And treasure each empty moment of the experience. Something sacred is about to be born.

Nothing is not just nothing. It is vibrant with all possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest yet, but it contains all. So why in the middle do we make so much fuss? Why, in the middle, becoming so worried, so anxious, so ambitious--why create despair?

Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey."

- Osho Zen Tarot

Reminisce

2010-07-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

When you can see all the good that your life has been, is, and could be, your entire life's vibration will change.

Bask

2010-07-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

Bask (verb, Eng.): to lie in or be exposed to a pleasant warmth. To enjoy a pleasant situation.

"But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to...nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favorite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?"
— Elizabeth Gilbert

Soliel

2010-07-06T10:31:00.000-07:00

Soliel (noun, Fr.): Sun (noun, En.)

"Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year."- Unknown

It is easy to get caught up in society's view of what is abundant and what is lacking. But it is all just a mind set. If you can just look around yourself for a few minutes at the beginning and end of the day today and note all the things you have in your life, you may begin to realize that your life is filled with so much, even if it seems different from what others may have. Today is the perfect day to begin to train your thoughts to focus on all that is abundant in your life.

Liberté

2010-07-04T09:11:00.001-07:00

Liberté (Noun, Fr.): Freedom

"The desire of gold is nor for gold. It is for the means of freedom and benefit."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Choisir

2010-06-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

Choisir (verb, Fr.): Choose

"... Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life --the life you author from scratch on your own, begins.

- How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make?
- Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?
- Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?
- Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
- Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
- Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize?
- Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
- Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?
- When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
- Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
- Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?

I will hazard a prediction. When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story...."

- Amazon CEO, Jeff Bezos' commencement speech to Princeton's Class of 2010 on May 30, 2010.

Jolie

2010-06-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

Jolie (adj., Fr.): Pretty

"Happy girls are the prettiest girls."
- Audrey Hepburn

Promises

2010-06-28T20:21:00.001-07:00

"Promises are like babies, easy to make but hard to deliver."
- Unknown

"Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible."
- Hannah Arendt

"We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears."
- Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld

"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he is in love, drunk, or running for office."
- Shirley MacLaine

Miracles

2010-06-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

"Making miracles is hard work, most people give up before they happen."
-Sheryl Crow

Conflicted

2010-06-23T19:51:00.001-07:00

Tupac has been making very profound appearances in my dreams recently. Bizarre. What could that possibly mean? Today, I stumbled upon this Tupac quote. Normally, I would have skimmed right over it and not paid any serious attention to it, but becuase Tupac's role in my dreams has been lingering with me during my waking hours, I stopped, pondered, and now I sit with it.

"Everyone is at war with different things. Sometimes I think I am at war with my own heart."

- Tupac Shakur

I guess Rainer Maria Rilke understood his plight:

"Be patient toward everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.. Do not search for the answers which could not be given to you now because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything... Live the questions now."

- Rainer Maria Rilke

Truisms

2010-06-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

Jenny Holzer, is a well known artist who focuses on text, delivered via LED screens and projectors, as her medium. She is best known for her "Truisms", a series of text statements, from the late 1970's. The most famous of her "Truisms" is "Protect Me From What I Want" which was projected in New York Times Square in 1982. In her ironic view, culture becomes a continuous loop of creating and sating desires that we barely know we have—or want to admit to.

Here are my favorite Jenny Holzer "Truisms":

Being happy is more important than anything else
Calm is more conducive to creativity than is anxiety
Emotional responses ar as valuable as intellectual responses
Faithfulness is a social not a biological law
Fear is the greatest incapacitator
Go all out in romance and let the chips fall where they may
It's better to be naive than jaded
Just believing something can make it happen
Pain can be a very positive thing
Playing it safe can cause a lot of damage in the long run
Repetition is the best way to learn
The cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down
The sum of your actions determines what you are
Unquestioning love demonstrates largeness of spirit
When something terrible happens people wake up
You must have one grand passion
Your oldest fears are the worst ones

One of these days I will compile a collection of my own Truisms, but it is in its ground floor phase. Still.

Attraversiamo

2010-06-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

This is the only Italian word that I know, and for good reason I suppose.

attraversare (Italian) verb
to cross, to go through, to run through

"I crossed the street to walk in the sunshine."
— Elizabeth Gilbert

Esprit

2010-06-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

Esprit (Fr)./ Spirit (En.); noun: Life, or living substance, considered independently of corporeal existence; an intelligence conceived of apart from any physical organization or embodiment; vital essence, force, or energy, as distinct from matter.

“The most important thing is to work on the spirit, to feel like a feather — lighter and lighter.”
- Jil Sander

Soeurs

2010-06-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

Soeurs (Fr.)/ Sisters (En.); noun
- A female having the same parents as another or one parent in common with another.
- A girl or woman who shares a common ancestry, allegiance, character, or purpose with another or others, specifically:
- A kinswoman.
- A close woman friend or companion.
- One identified as female and closely related to another.

“There can be no situation in life in which the conversation of my dear sister will not administer some comfort to me.”
- Mary Worley Montagu

Today I am grateful for the sisters that I am blessed with in all of the various cities where they reside.

Je t'aime

2010-06-04T16:26:00.001-07:00

"When good Americans die, they go to Paris."
-Oscar Wilde

Traversée

2010-06-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

Traversée
(voyage: noun): Crossing, passage, voyage, traverse

"I thought about one of my favorite Sufi poems, which says that God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen."

"...people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't you will eat away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."

"...to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice."

— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

2010-06-02T14:08:00.000-07:00

Suivant
(Following adj., prep.): immediately following in time or order; next, subsequent.

The great thing about Paris is that just when you have seen the most beautiful sight, had the most amazing experience, tasted the most delicious morsel, or sipped the most exquisite beverage, there is something even more magnificent around the corner. I think that this is true for life in general (it's your choice), but for me, Paris just heightens my awareness.

Déplier

2010-06-01T03:02:00.000-07:00

Déplier (Unfold, verb)
To open

What does it mean to be open to everything and attached to nothing?

We are beings of unlimited potential and the only thing holding us back from experiencing whatever we desire is any limiting beliefs we hold about life. If we attach ourselves to a belief with enough conviction, we will effectively disallow any desire that doesn't align with that belief to manifest in our reality.

étreindre

2010-05-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

étreindre:
Hug (verb, noun)
embrace, grasp, fold, enfold, lock

Research shows that when you hold your hug for at least six seconds you actually optimize the flow of mood-boosting chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin, and consequently feel better.

I suppose that this little bit of scientific research could be used as an excuse to embrace a certain somebody that you normally shy away from. So why not use it?

"Excuse me monsieur, could you help me elevate my oxytocin and serotonin levels?"

I'll bet if it is said in French, it will boost your mood even more.

Jamais

2010-05-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

Jamais
(Never, adv.)
1. Not ever; on no occasion; at no time.
2. Not at all; in no way; absolutely not.

Speaking in absolutes is not something that a wise person does. But today I did just that. During a phone conversation with a friend I mentioned that I definitely would not be going back to the Eiffel Tower, I had had enough. Within ten minutes of hanging up the phone, what do you think happened? Yep, I was on the metro with friends heading straight towards the belly of the beast--next stop, Eiffel Tower.

Now mind you we were just going to meet up with some folks, who were staying at a hotel across the street from the Eiffel Tower, to escort them to our favorite wine bar. So we weren't intending to actually go to the Eiffel Tower. But regardless, it was a nice reminder that speaking in absolutes has no place in my vocabulary. English, French, or otherwise.

Patience

2010-05-18T22:08:00.001-07:00

The word patience is exactly the same in French as it is in English. This is interesting because, no matter where I am, patience is the lesson I continue to have to learn. And Paris is my current teacher.

Patience is defined as the ability to tolerate waiting, delay, or frustration without becoming agitated or upset. It's the ability to be able to control your emotions or impulses and proceed calmly when faced with difficulty.

That definition makes patience seem like a negative thing, but I am learning that is doesn't have to be. In a world where we have become conditioned for instant gratification, to sit calmly and learn the art of savoring is something very favorable.

“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope”
-Alexandre Dumas Père

Charme

2010-05-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Charme:

(Charm, n. & v. )

The power or quality of pleasing or delighting; attractiveness.
A particular quality that attracts; a delightful characteristic.

To attract or delight greatly.
To be alluring or pleasing.
To cast or seem to cast a spell on; bewitch.

"There is no personal charm so great as the charm of a cheerful temperment."

-Henry Van Dyke

No mater where I go, what I do, or which language I speak, charme gets me every single time. It totally translates.