Erreur

Erreur (Fr.)/ Mistake (Eng.): Verb

• To blunder in the choice of
• To misunderstand the meaning or intention of
• To identify wrongly; confuse with another

"Can you make a mistake and miss your fate? Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers... maybe you just have to say what's in your heart."
- Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City


"Protect me from what I want."
- Jenny Holzer, the 15th Truism

Avril: les cinq premiers

April was an especially memorable month. It marks my first trip to Rome, Italy.

Everything in Rome is saturated with history. But what really stood out to me is how large everything is. The Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon, the voice levels, the hand gestures, the hospitality, and don't get me started about the pizza and pastas. If Rome had a tagline, I am pretty sure it would be "Rome, Go Big or Go Home!" A tagline that doubles as a metaphor for life. I pondered this concept for the duration of my trip.

Here are five of my favorite memories from my time in Rome:

 The Pantheon

The streets of Trastevere

Lunch at L'Angolo Divino Enoteca (a divine little wine bar near Campo Dei Fiori)

A flock of nuns near the Colosseum.

You see this type of adornment throughout Rome. Charming.

"The culture of Rome just doesn't match the culture of Yoga, not as far as I can see. In fact, I've decided that Rome and Yoga don't have anything in common at all. Except for the way they both kind of remind you of the word toga."

- Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Beaucoup

Beaucoup (Fr.)/ Many (Eng.) adjective: Consisting of or amounting to a large but indefinite number.

I have always been the kind of person who likes to try a lot of things, to squeeze every last drop out of this life.  God forbid there be something of interest that I have not tried exploring. Maybe that is why I read more magazines and blogs than I do full books.

A very wise person told me recently that there are two general types of passionate people in this world. The type who have a single, clear, burning mission from the moment that they are born. And the type who treat life like a candy store, sampling as many different candies as they can. And neither one is better nor has more benefits than the other. Each one provides structure for growth, which is the one sure purpose in life-- to grow. You can grow just as much from the pursuit of one clear mission as you can from many. And one mission can turn into many and many pursuits can turn into one.

Soixante

Photo by Chuck Close, courtesy of The Pace Gallery, featured in Harper's Bazaar

I recently began working with a life coach to help me gain clarity around my dreams and goals. I don't seem to have a hard time determining how to accomplish them, but determining what they are could use some added support right now. Having recently accomplished my dream of living in Paris, it seemed wise to keep this momentum going and to go "bigger".  (Bigger than Paris? yes, please.)

I was encouraged to explore a visioning exercise with these seemingly simple instructions:

Fast forward to your 60th birthday party.

Visualize: Where are you? How are you celebrating? Are you alone or with others? What are you doing? Who is there? What are you wearing?  How do you feel? What is your lifestyle like? What does your body look like? What does your face look like?

Luckily for me, I had just read an article in Haper's Bazaar featuring a photo portrait of Diane Von Furstenberg by Chuck Close and an interview between them both. It gave me fabulous context for embracing this exercise.

"...At 64 [Diane Von Furstenberg] has never had any plastic surgery, has no plans to, and if anything takes pride in her lines. "I’ve always liked wrinkles,” she says. “When I was a young girl, I used to make lines on my face with my nails because I loved Jeanne Moreau. I always wanted to be older; I always added years to my life. For the longest time, if people thought I was older I would take it as a compliment.”
- Diane Von Furstenberg quote taken from DVF Portrait, Harper's Bazaar 


Click here to read to full article.

Mars: Les cinqs premiers

Mars is a big month for me, not only because it signals the beginning of spring, flowers and wamer sunnier days ahead, but also because it is my birthday month. And all of those reasons give me PLENTY to be grateful about.

1. Finding a new love-- in the opposite direction.
Up to this point, I have been in a monogamous relationship with the Jardin de Luxemborg. But in an attempt to avoid wearing running gear in such a crowded springtime destination, I ran in the opposite direction. Straight into the arms of a new love, the Jardin de Plantes de Paris. And lo and behold, as it is so aptly named, there were cherry trees in blossom, tulips, poppies, an art deco wintergraden, trees being supported by large structures, and um, monkeys! Who would have thunk it? Right in the middle of this large jardin is a melangerie of animals. C'est magnifique! In keeping with the springtime theme there are new beginnings and discoveries happening within a couple of blocks of my home. (What else have I yet to discover?)

2. Stepping outside of my comfort zone.

I know I go on and on about my favorite Diptyque scented candle, Baies. But in honor of the fresh start of spring and a new year for yours truly, I figured it was time to step outside of my comfort zone and try something new. Enter, Figuier candles. And I didn't stop there, I picked up a couple of new eau de toilette scents to try out, for good measure.

3. Things just showing up.

I have tried just about everything on my list in order to improve my French. Attending my weekly lessons, cd's, French movies, attending French dinner parties, reading only French magazines, random tutoring from a handsome man, yet there was one thing that had eluded me until now-- a language exchange partner. One day, while picking up some home repair supplies at the BHV I encountered the most darling young, freckle-faced cashier, Sevrine. She spotted my poor French accent immediately and jumped at the chance to try out her English (side note: Really? Me saying "Pardon" was a dead give away!?). She asked me if I had ever read Eat, Pray, Love (who in the world did she think she was talking to? Is it that obvious?). I immediately replied, "Oui, beaucoup!" She said that she really wanted a language exchange partner like in the Italy chapters of the book. 

So now I have a language exchange partner. Check.

4. Game day decision leading to a perfect celebration.

With an infinite amount of ways that one could spend their birthday in Paris, I found myself paralyzed by the possibilities. This indecision left me with only one option-- make a game day decision. My game day plan? Have one glass of champagne at Le Baron Rouge with my beautiful friend before dinner at a new Mexican (yes, that's right, Mexican!) restaurant, Candelaria. If you want to hear God laugh, then tell him your plans. (see also: we never made it to dinner). What I didn't count on was that we would spend the evening with Bernard Delis. He is the oyster man from Cap-Ferret, who brings oysters from the sea to Le Baron Rouge every weekend during oyster season. Not only was it my birthday, but it also marked the final weekend of oyster season. We over-celebrated both by eating oysters and drinking champagne in the street, like ya do.

5. Overflowing with love and abundance.

Although I was many miles away from the majority of my family and friends, I felt the incredible love vibes from afar. But especially on my birthday. I am so grateful for all of the phone calls, skype messages, birthday wishes on Facebook, birthday singing videos, emails, cards, surprise packages, gifts, and drunk dials. My cup runneth over.

I have one word for Mars: Merci!

Regretter

Regretter (Fr.)/ Regret (Eng.) verb:
To feel sorry, disappointed or distressed about. Te remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow.

"Daddy, what does regret mean? Well son, the funny thing about regret is, it's better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done...."
- excerpt from "Sweet Loaf" by Butthole Surfers

I wonder what is more bothersome, saying something and wishing you hadn’t, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

Given the punk wisdom of my youth I am going to go with the later. As a mature adult, I think the only caveat I would add to this wisdom is to consider the following: will the act intentionally hurt someone?

Point de vue

Point de vue (Fr.)/ Perspective (Eng.) noun:

• a mental view or outlook.
• the relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole; subjective evaluation of relative significance.
• the ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance.

Its no secret that I am in love with all things Parisian. The Parisian way of life seems to suit me, and I feel elated each and every day that I get to experience this lifestyle. However, there is one element of the Parisian way that finds me having some disempowering thoughts. Specifically it is around the Parisienne body type. Just about every woman (or at least the ones I seem to look at) are thin. I don't mean not fat, I mean thin. Model thin. As in fashionable clothing looks fantastic on them.

I do not fall into this category. I have a butt and hips, which seems to be a rarity in Paris. When I go running, I actually *gasp* wear fitted running pants. You would think that I was running through the streets naked with my hair on fire from the looks that I get. I have been told that it is because they have never seen genuine workout clothes in public before, but in my head it is the size of my butt that is garnering the attention.

Today as I was walking home from the market (in normal street attire... fashion jeans, Dries Van Noten boots, a Jane Mayle coat, and a scarf of course) I found myself fantasizing about ways I could acquire the Parisienne body type. Not eating for a month, smoking like a fiend, drinking nothing but black coffee, all came to mind. Ugh. That sounded like the opposite of my ideal lifestyle. It felt very disempowering.

So then it occurred to me, that a more empowering replacement thought could be to focus on all of the compliments or alternate thoughts that I have heard as of lately...

Like from the sales girl at Kookai who convinced me to get a long sweater in a size small so that it would hug my curves, "You need to celebrate your god-given gift. I do, and look at me!" she said while caressing her own hips and butt.

Or from the waitress at the cafe who said that I look very healthy, (full disclosure: I was at a bio cafe and I think she actually said "sportif" and then mentioned something about me doing yoga, so I am chalking it up to "healthy").

Then there was a random Facebook post from my brother today. It had nothing to do with me, but said "Life tip: A good personality beats a spray-on tan any day." (I am replacing the words spray-on tan with stick thin physique). And after sitting next to the most obnoxious rail thin 20-something at a Parisian restaurant last week, I couldn't agree more.

So I am going to try these replacement, empowering thoughts on for size and see how they fit. After all, it may not change the cellular make up of my southern region, but it can't help but seem as if it has.