Vampires

Vampire (Eng.)/ Vampire (Fr.) noun: Any person, thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative expression.


Vampire is the same word in French as it is in English. I suppose this definition of vampire applies to everyone no matter what language, culture or profession. We are all plagued with vampires in our heads, although some of us have developed better slaying abilities than others.  Here are a few examples of the different vampire breeds, as described in this song:


Pygmee Vampire: They swarm around your head like gnats and say things like "your teeth need whitening", "you went to state school!?" "Shakespeare and Sedaris did it before you and better than you."

Air Freshener Vampire: She might look like your mama or your old fat ass Aunt Fanny, she wants you to clean it up and not write about anything "bad", which will leave your work toothless, gutless and crotchless.

Vampire of Despair: This is the mother of all vampires. It will wake you up at 4am to say things like "Who do you think you are kidding?", "you look like a fool", "no matter how hard you try, you will never be good enough"

"Why is it if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform and said these things I would think that he was a mentally ill asshole, but if the vampire inside my head says it, it is the voice of reason?"