à faire

à faire (Fr.) To do (Eng.) verb

I love Alber Elbaz, the designer for Lanvin. His collections are amazing and induce serious drooling by yours truly. Today I saw a quote from him regarding the recent A/W '11 collections.

"Backstage I am seeing only the mistakes. I see what works, but I see more what doesn't. I guess that is the reason I come to the studio the next day. To start all over again."
- Alber Elbaz

Right now I am working a lot. It is such a blessing to be given the opportunity to work on a project that focuses on making a significant change in the world, especially when it is on behalf of a large corporation. People (myself included) have a tendency to harsh on the "corporate world" as a rebellion to cubicle life, profit-focused disregard for the greater good. So you can understand why I must count my blessings everyday that I have been hired to manage a project for the world's largest technology company to help them spread the word of their philanthropic efforts. And that's not all, I get to do it from my apartment in Paris, which is pretty much the opposite of cubicle life.

So then why is it that when asked "how is life in Paris?" do I start out by saying, "How would I know? I work all the time", as if it were a complaint?  I mention how I don't have time to go to the museums, drink coffee in cafes, or take in the Parisian scene from a bench on the Seine. It seems I am focusing on what I don't have and what I am not doing rather than what I DO have and what I AM doing. Geez, I know better than this!

If recognizing this behavior is the first step, then doing something about it must be the next. From now on I will focus my answer on stating what I do have, and am doing:

photo by TommyTon for Style.com

• I am enjoying life as a true Parisian. Not a tourist.
• I am blessed to do work everyday that matters.
• I have a job that I am paid for and do it from the comfort of my apartment, in Paris!
• I work with people who are lovely.
• I have Saturdays for indulging in all of the markets, boutiques, museums, restaurants that I can manage.
• I have Sundays for focusing on my personal pursuits, which will soon evolve into time spent picnicking in the parks.
• I am entrusted with important projects and my decision making is admired and respected.
• I live in a neighborhood in the center of everything, so if I need to run out for an errand, it is sure to be within a short walking distance.
• I have internet connections that make it a seamless process.
• I am so so so blessed with this opportunity.

And I hope to wake up everyday to start it all over again.

la vulnérabilité

(Anna Dello Russo, photo by TommyTon)

la vulnérabilité (Fr.)/ vulnerability (Eng.); noun

• Capable or susceptible to being wounded or hurt

I have been thinking a lot about vulnerability and its benefits. This subject comes up for me about 8 out of 10 times when I walk out my door. Especially when I go to the theatre, the small and intimate type of theatre, not the grande sized theatre, where you can actually hide in the crowd. I find myself going to the smaller venues quite a bit as the majority of my Parisian friends are involved in theatre to some extent.

The thing about a smaller sized theatre is that the actors actually involve the audience in their performances. And while this would not normally be an intimidating factor in an English speaking environment, it causes me a great deal of anxiety in a French speaking environment as my French comprehension is quite poor. I find myself praying that they will not call me out. And I even make silent declarations to myself as I sit in the audience avoiding eye contact with the actors, that I will not put myself in this situation ever again. Yet, I know that you must expand yourself outside of your comfort zone if you want to experience life at its fullest, which is why, I suppose, I will go to yet another intimate theatre performance tonight.

It occurred to me that I could transform my anxiety into a sensation that is a tad bit more enjoyable. For example,  focusing my energy on channeling my sense of humor about my lack of comprehension rather than my embarrassment of it. Or, perhaps I could simply embrace my vulnerability, lean into it, and even shine a light on it. 

There is a very wise researcher/story-teller (yes, that is her real-life profession), Brene Brown who claims that people who have the courage to be imperfect and show the world who they are with their whole heart, experience a connection of authenticity that leads to (and enhances) a happy existence.

To have the courage to be imperfect and show the world who they are, letting go of who they think they should be in order to be who they are. And to fully embrace vulnerability and believe that which makes them vulnerable, makes them beautiful. 


If you have 20 minutes, you can check out the full TEDtalk on this subject, which raises the point that when you feel vulnerable means that you are alive: