des conseils

Des Conseils (Fr.)/ Advice (Eng.) noun: opinion about what could or should be done in a situation or problem.

"Any advice that doesn't feel liberating is wrong. Ignore it."
- Martha Beck

Foudre

Foudre (Fr.)/ lightning (Eng.) (noun)

• the flashing of light produced by a discharge of atmospheric electricity; the discharge itself
• a sudden stroke of fortune

In the Joan Rivers' documentary "A Piece of Work", agent/manager Larry Thompson has a wonderful way of phrasing Ms. Rivers’ staying power when he says: “To get hit by lightning, you have to stand out in the rain, often for a very long time.”

I recently shared news with a friend of mine of a new venture that I am beginning . Her reaction was exactly what I had feared, it implied that I am never satisfied with any one thing. In a nutshell, she had a hard time understanding why I would begin something new, yet again. Why am I always embarking on something new, working so hard towards new goals, rather than relaxing and finding solace in my current situation? She reminded me that my current situation was the pursuit of a new venture not that long ago. She attempted to give me a proverbial shoulder shaking when she asked, "Darling, you must stop and ask yourself, what is your real life's dream?". My response, "I am living it. I have many dreams within this dream."

Perhaps I will stop pursuing my soul's ventures and settled into something permanent when I have a clear signal that it is time to do just that. Lightning seems like a clear enough sign.

l'obscurité

image from Kim Gordon's exhibition at No6

l'obscurité (Fr.): obscurity (Eng.): Noun

• The absence of light; darkness. 
• The quality or condition of being unknown. 
• The quality or condition of being imperfectly known or difficult to understand.

When you are in between languages, it is hard to be truly understood. I don't know enough French to be able to explain nuances or provide context for many of my thoughts. So I find that when I say something it is taken at face value, as a definitive statement. (like the time I replied "oui" to my ex-boyfriend's marriage proposal when I really meant "peut-être") Or I have to go on and on and on about something in order to make sure that it's intended message is accurately delivered, which is nearly impossible due to my limited French.

This has resulted in me being more cautious with speaking, to choose my words wisely, and to listen more than I speak.

In Buddhism, they have something they call right speech-- the way in which the practitioner chooses their words in order to abstain from lying, using abusive or divisive speech, and idle chatter. I try to abide by those rules even in my native tongue (with varying degrees of success in the idle chatter department), yet now it has forced me to say only what is absolutely necessary in order to communicate a thought.

Although at times it can be rather uncomfortable, it really isn't a bad way to be. I am learning a great deal about myself in this process.

Bardo

Bardo (noun): Tibetan Buddhism refers to Bardo as the state of the soul between its death and its rebirth.

I am reading a great book right now, Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. I am really digging this book, not just because he is talking about my favorite subject, the soul, but because he references Greek mythology which I used to be obsessed with when I was younger. And like a breath of fresh air, he also has introduced me to many new concepts, such as alchemy for the soul, homeopathic treatment for certain emotions, and now Bardo.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead describes Bardo as that time in between incarnations, the period before birth into life. Moore says that "Bardo takes time; it can't be rushed. There's no point in premature birth."

Currently I know how to speak enough French to get by, but as I am uncovering in my day to day interactions, not enough to live fully; to express the nuances of my thoughts, to provide context to an otherwise short, definitive answer. In my previous time in France, my French has never slowed me down, and now that I am living in France, it seems to have done just that. I wonder if this is just a symptom of my own personal Bardo state?

In talking to my mother today, I mentioned how I will attempt to enroll in the arrondissement French course tomorrow. It is an "attempt" because the course began five months ago, so I would be requesting that they make an exception and allow me to jump in mid stream. And if this doesn't work then I will find a professional tutor (not the casual tutoring that my friends supply over wine). My mom's reply was "Good for you. I love how you always move forward." (ah, thanks Mom)

So perhaps a Bardo state is really just another term for the birth canal. And what choice does a baby really have, but to move forward? Eventually.

Soulmates

It is no secret that I adore Reggie Watts. If I were to describe my perfect man, I would no doubt list all of the qualities that I think Reggie embodies... humor, wit, intelligence, talent, style, spark (to capture you in a way that you never thought you could be captured) and charm.

So yesterday, I was given the opportunity to ask Reggie any question of my choice. Whoa, what an incredible opportunity. There were so many, yet I shocked myself when I chose to ask him the following:

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

To my astonishment, he not only answered me, he answered me via video. You would suspect that his answer would be humorous or cloaked in some form of performance, especially given my unusual topic. Yet his response was quite serious. You can see it here: