Processing

I am waiting for the final signing for the house in Burgundy, which is maddening. It's like sitting with my decision, while waiting for the future consequences to come rolling in.

And on top of that, I had a Japanese lymphatic massage on Sunday night at my favorite place, that resulted in me be laid up in bed for the past three days. Not able to eat food, or drink anything other than water all week. After a little googling I found that I had all of the cautionary (and rare) symptoms of post lymphatic massage:

• nausea
• headaches
• chills
• fever
• achy muscles
• emotional responses

In hindsight, I had these same post-massage symptoms the last time I had a similar massage back in March.

During the past three days, I have second guessed my decision to buy a house in Burgundy, which is probably called buyer's remorse. I have even gone so far as to question my move to Paris, my decision to not have children yet (regardless of my marital status), my profession, past bad decisions (thanks to Orange is the New Black),  and just about every relationship I have/had. I think this could be a by product of the last symptom in the bullet list-- emotional response.

Today I am starting to feel more normal and may even try eating solid foods again. Trying some Jedi mind control to switch around these thoughts to a more constructive and positive wave length. So it was interesting and timely to receive my daily Notes from the Universe today:

It's perfectly normal, that when waiting for a really big dream to come true it seems like it's taking forever, you wonder if you're doing something wrong, and you feel like you should just be happy with less. 

But I promise you, no matter how long it takes, once it happens it'll seem as if time flew, you'll wonder how you ever doubted yourself, and you'll feel like you should have aimed a little higher. 

Aim a little higher, darling, 
-The Universe