Regretter

Regretter (Fr.)/ Regret (Eng.) verb:
To feel sorry, disappointed or distressed about. Te remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow.

"Daddy, what does regret mean? Well son, the funny thing about regret is, it's better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done...."
- excerpt from "Sweet Loaf" by Butthole Surfers

I wonder what is more bothersome, saying something and wishing you hadn’t, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

Given the punk wisdom of my youth I am going to go with the later. As a mature adult, I think the only caveat I would add to this wisdom is to consider the following: will the act intentionally hurt someone?

Point de vue

Point de vue (Fr.)/ Perspective (Eng.) noun:

• a mental view or outlook.
• the relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole; subjective evaluation of relative significance.
• the ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance.

Its no secret that I am in love with all things Parisian. The Parisian way of life seems to suit me, and I feel elated each and every day that I get to experience this lifestyle. However, there is one element of the Parisian way that finds me having some disempowering thoughts. Specifically it is around the Parisienne body type. Just about every woman (or at least the ones I seem to look at) are thin. I don't mean not fat, I mean thin. Model thin. As in fashionable clothing looks fantastic on them.

I do not fall into this category. I have a butt and hips, which seems to be a rarity in Paris. When I go running, I actually *gasp* wear fitted running pants. You would think that I was running through the streets naked with my hair on fire from the looks that I get. I have been told that it is because they have never seen genuine workout clothes in public before, but in my head it is the size of my butt that is garnering the attention.

Today as I was walking home from the market (in normal street attire... fashion jeans, Dries Van Noten boots, a Jane Mayle coat, and a scarf of course) I found myself fantasizing about ways I could acquire the Parisienne body type. Not eating for a month, smoking like a fiend, drinking nothing but black coffee, all came to mind. Ugh. That sounded like the opposite of my ideal lifestyle. It felt very disempowering.

So then it occurred to me, that a more empowering replacement thought could be to focus on all of the compliments or alternate thoughts that I have heard as of lately...

Like from the sales girl at Kookai who convinced me to get a long sweater in a size small so that it would hug my curves, "You need to celebrate your god-given gift. I do, and look at me!" she said while caressing her own hips and butt.

Or from the waitress at the cafe who said that I look very healthy, (full disclosure: I was at a bio cafe and I think she actually said "sportif" and then mentioned something about me doing yoga, so I am chalking it up to "healthy").

Then there was a random Facebook post from my brother today. It had nothing to do with me, but said "Life tip: A good personality beats a spray-on tan any day." (I am replacing the words spray-on tan with stick thin physique). And after sitting next to the most obnoxious rail thin 20-something at a Parisian restaurant last week, I couldn't agree more.

So I am going to try these replacement, empowering thoughts on for size and see how they fit. After all, it may not change the cellular make up of my southern region, but it can't help but seem as if it has.

Réduire

(photo by Tommy Ton)

Réduire (Fr.)/Reduce (Eng) verb:
to lessen in any way, as in size, weight, amount, value, price; diminish; to put into a simpler or more concentrated form.

"In order to seek one's own direction, one must simplify the mechanics of ordinary, everyday life."
- Plato

"Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves."
- Edwin Way Teale

It's springtime in Paris and the temperatures are beginning to warm, which means that the layers begin to be shed. To many, it signals spring cleaning, a clearing out of closets and removal of dust and debris from homes. Perhaps it is because I live in a teeny tiny Parisian apartment, with only what fits inside of two duffels, a carry on, and a briefcase, but to me it is prompting a different type of clearing.

I have a tendency to have a lot on my plate at all times. I tend to thrive when I am busy. But being in Paris has caused an awareness around my busyness and perhaps even changed my relationship with it. I find myself longing for periods of nothingness, where I can just be, focus on the things that I truly enjoy, reflect, play, and God forbid, do nothing.

I have been advised that it is time to remove things from my plate in order to make space for my life to unfold. This is really uncomfortable for me. I suppose it is similar to that feeling you have before you take that bag of clothes, clothes that you once adored, to Goodwill. Yet, afterwards you realize that you really don't miss them at all and even feel lighter and more buoyant.

The key is in trusting that your life will continue to be abundant and full even if your closet, and schedule are not.

Printemps

Printemps (Fr.)/ Spring (End.) noun

• A source, origin, beginning.
• The season of the year occurring between winter and summer, during which the weather becomes warmer and plants revive.
• A time of growth and renewal.

I love the fact that the first day of Spring fell on a Sunday this year. Sundays are my scheduled days for just being. It helps that pretty much every store, museum, wine bar, (good) restaurant is closed on Sundays, which is meant as a gesture to encourage French citizens to enjoy time with their family. Not having any blood relatives to hang with on Sundays, I spent it in my own reverent way.  

• I bought strawberries, tomatoes, avocados and flowers at the Place Monge Farmer's market.
• Ate the perfect veggie Vietnamese sandwich (prepared by the most adorable Chinese girl named Alizia) on a bench overlooking the Seine. 
• Did my French homework from the comfort of a reclining chair in the Luxemborg Gardens. (and by "homework" I mean that I held my French book while I peered over it to stare at approximately a bazillion couples making out big time. It is the first day of spring after all.)
• Walked endlessly through the streets of Paris, listening to Stevie Wonder.
• Was stopped dead in my tracks by an army of roller bladders. (not sure if army is the right term, but what exactly is the proper term for a mass of roller bladers?)
• And now I am home, sitting down to the perfect First-Day-of-Spring dinner which is comprised of  A bottle of Chateau Montauriol Fronton Tradition (Negrette/Cab Franc/Syrah), strawberries and Rocher Noir chocolat treats (my favorite) from the boulangerie across the street.

If today is any indication, this new year is going to be spectacular.

Here's to spring!

à faire

à faire (Fr.) To do (Eng.) verb

I love Alber Elbaz, the designer for Lanvin. His collections are amazing and induce serious drooling by yours truly. Today I saw a quote from him regarding the recent A/W '11 collections.

"Backstage I am seeing only the mistakes. I see what works, but I see more what doesn't. I guess that is the reason I come to the studio the next day. To start all over again."
- Alber Elbaz

Right now I am working a lot. It is such a blessing to be given the opportunity to work on a project that focuses on making a significant change in the world, especially when it is on behalf of a large corporation. People (myself included) have a tendency to harsh on the "corporate world" as a rebellion to cubicle life, profit-focused disregard for the greater good. So you can understand why I must count my blessings everyday that I have been hired to manage a project for the world's largest technology company to help them spread the word of their philanthropic efforts. And that's not all, I get to do it from my apartment in Paris, which is pretty much the opposite of cubicle life.

So then why is it that when asked "how is life in Paris?" do I start out by saying, "How would I know? I work all the time", as if it were a complaint?  I mention how I don't have time to go to the museums, drink coffee in cafes, or take in the Parisian scene from a bench on the Seine. It seems I am focusing on what I don't have and what I am not doing rather than what I DO have and what I AM doing. Geez, I know better than this!

If recognizing this behavior is the first step, then doing something about it must be the next. From now on I will focus my answer on stating what I do have, and am doing:

photo by TommyTon for Style.com

• I am enjoying life as a true Parisian. Not a tourist.
• I am blessed to do work everyday that matters.
• I have a job that I am paid for and do it from the comfort of my apartment, in Paris!
• I work with people who are lovely.
• I have Saturdays for indulging in all of the markets, boutiques, museums, restaurants that I can manage.
• I have Sundays for focusing on my personal pursuits, which will soon evolve into time spent picnicking in the parks.
• I am entrusted with important projects and my decision making is admired and respected.
• I live in a neighborhood in the center of everything, so if I need to run out for an errand, it is sure to be within a short walking distance.
• I have internet connections that make it a seamless process.
• I am so so so blessed with this opportunity.

And I hope to wake up everyday to start it all over again.

Voyage

Voyage (Fr.)/ Journey (Eng.) noun/verb: The act of traveling from one place to another; a trip.

"I've come to believe in something I call the Physics of the Quest. A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of quest physics goes something like this, if you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house, to bitter old resentments, and set out on a true seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue. and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher. And if you are prepared most of all, to face and accept some very difficult realities about yourself then the truth will not be withheld from you. I can't help but believe it given my experience."

- Elizabeth Gilbert

une situation

"I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

— Maya Angelou

Japon in Paris

Remember this time last year when my trip to Japon was suddenly and unexpectdedly cancelled? And remember how I immediately resorted to a Plan B to go to Paris instead? (you probably don't remember, but trust me, this is what happened) Well this post has nothing to do with that, or maybe it does?

Yesterday I treated myself to a Japonais massage on the Isle Saint Louis in Paris. I wasn't expecting to, but I passed this little gem of a place on my walk home. As I stopped in front of the window admiring the traditional and simplistic Japonais decor I was met with a smile from the man behind the counter inside. Not seeing a lot of smiling lately, I immediately went inside.

The smell of brown rice green tea, soft Japonais musique playing, and Emanuel (the man with the kind smile) made me think that I had FINALLY found my people.

I inquired about prices, techniques, massage styles and scheduling. Next thing you know, I had signed up for the next massage opening an hour later. With an hour to kill and a hungry stomach, it was recommended that I go to a "fantastique" Italian restaurant for a light meal. Done and Done.

When I returned, I didn't know what to expect for so many reasons. Had I planned to receive a Japonais massage in the states I would have had some wonder, sure. But in French? In a country who is not know for its healing arts? With a Japonaise masseuse who only speaks Japonais and French? Perhaps for the first time in my massage-getting journey, I was void of any expectations/demands at all.

Yuka was my masseuse and she smiled more in that hour and a half than I had experienced in the past three months. Ahhh! Normally I would be very vocal during a massage, pointing out troubled areas, asking for more pressure here and working out tension there. This is probably because of my belief that it must hurt a little in order to be "productive".

I see this belief rearing its head in all aspects of my life, with my work, with my French learning, with my exercise regime, etc. Yet, during this massage I allowed it to just be, in all of its gentle and soft goodness. Lo and behold, what do you know? I found it to be more "productive" and effective in ways that I couldn't have foreseen.

I was surrounded by gentleness.
I felt safe.
I was relaxed.
I was able to reflect.
I was able to let go.
I was happily enjoying a day of solitude.
I was able to marinade in the energy of my self-created perfect day.

When's the last time I reaped these benefits from some hard and maybe even a little painful pressure?

Exactly.

Février: les cinq premiers

Wow. Hard to believe that I have been in Paris for two months already, The time is certainly flying. I still wake up every single day and pinch myself. Here is a small sampling of the Parisian experiences that made me smile during the cold month of Février:

1. Finding the perfect running trails through the Luxemborg Gardens.

And proof that Parisians are beginning to warm up to the whole exercise thing.

2. A VIP view of spring unfolding, which serves as a beautiful reminder that things always get brighter. (Hence the reason why spring follows winter.)

3. Realizing that Parisians have their priorities straight as evidenced by this Marais wine shop's window display. Just the essentials.

Later that same day I stumbled upon a perfect by-the-glass trifecta, at Le Baron Rouge, of 2006 Gaillac, Pinot Noir d' Alsace 2009 and Malbec for a grand total of 9 euros. As the good lord intended.

4. Free French classes at the Marie 5eme (a mere 3 second walk from my apartment)  filled with beautiful women from China, Venezuela, Vietnam, and the Netherlands. And lead by Veronique our lovely French instructor. (sorry no photo, you'll just have to take my word for it, they are all beautiful physically as well as energetically).

5. Oh and the shopping discoveries...

The final days of the Winter Soldes means extra % off already steep discounts. I found the last pair in my size of men's oxfords that I had been eyeing since I arrived.

The bonus was that French women don't "understand"  AllSaints Spitalfield (perhaps that is because dresses typically have four arm holes)  which means that I had the place all to myself. I was even able to find a spacious dressing room that I could comfortably try on all of my AllSaints finds. This is a true surprise as the Soldes typically draw crowds at the major shopping destinations like you wouldn't believe, which means dressing rooms are usually out of the question.

Only to be outdone by the scores I found later at the corner Pharmacie.  

Klorane oatmeal dry shampoo (I can now go an obscene amount of days between shampoos, pure bliss!), Avibon (full of Vitamin A and apparently it will keep my face, feet and hands young, soft, and blemish/wrinkle free), Homeplasmine (for dry, winter-ravaged skin), Vitamine C (because who couldn't use an extra boost of Vitamin C?), and OPI nail strengthener (since I haven't found a manicurist that I can effectively communicate with).

Here's to finding the pinch-worthiness in every day!